[The P.W. Syndicated logo appears on a black screen. It is an old school Television. The television turns on, and "P.W. Syndicated" illuminates on the television.]
["Infra-Red" by Placebo begins playing as the UWL Wrestlefest video package can be seen.]
[Several UWL Wrestlers are shown. Elijah Black, Ryan Kidd, Pat Gordon Jr, Gunner Hughes.]
#I'm Coming Up On Infra-Red!
[Shadoe Rage, Black Circle Boys, Chris Horton, Leon Corella, AJ Fairchild...]
[We go live to the Amway Center, where the crowd is rocking. The pyro show has them unglued as the camera pans throughout the sold out arena, before we go ringside to the men behind the headsets; Frank Archer, and Mac Raines.]
Archer: Good Evening ladies and gentlemen. And WELCOME TO WRESTLEFEST!
Raines: Apparently there's a football game tonight... who knew? Or who the hell cares for that matter?! This place is off the charts right now partner!
Archer: And why wouldn't they be? Eight incredible matches are lined up. Three UWL Championships are on the line. Ryan Kidd will defend his title against Gunner Hughes.
Raines: Both of these guys have been on a hell of a roll lately. I'm going with the big man. Gunner Hughes.
Archer: And let's not forget the Tag Team Titles. Black Circle Boys defend against Dom Harter and Alex Costellanos.
Raines: Two guys that have never teamed together before? No chance. BCB bring the violence tonight!
Archer: And of course the big one. Elijah Black defends the UWL Championship against Pat Gordon Jr.
Raines: The Southie Scrapper. The true definition of underdog... It's hard to root against him. Luckily I'm a piece of shit, and I say Elijah Black retains.
Archer: All that and more everyone. So just sit back and get ready. Wrestlefest begins NOW!!!
[The crowd is pumped as we prepare for our first bout, and just as expected, we get a sound of "greatness" with the song "I'm Better Than You" by Sam Adams hits. Gold spotlights flicker on and off through the arena to the music and the fans erupt in boos as Jake Wakefield appears on the stage arrogantly. A cocky smirk takes over his face as he looks upon the fans and Drake Knight comes out right behind him.]
Keith Williams: The following match is a tag team match and is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, both representing Adrenaline Wrestling Federation... Drake Knight and Jake Wakefield!
[The two men walk down the ramp and absorb all the boos, clearly not letting it get to them.]
Archer: These two are doing a great job of not letting the crowd affect their attitudes.
Raines: And why would they? These two are better than all of them! They're better than essentially everyone. Even you!
Archer: And you?
Raines: Nobody's better than this guy.
[They both get into the ring and smirk cockily at all the fans who are booing loudly. After a few seconds, the lights go dark, and we see red spotlights flash on the stage area as "Firestarter" by Prodigy hits. The fans bang against the guardrails to the beat as Johnny Blayze is seen on his way out from behind the curtain. He is seen with his trademark shorts with white elbow pads and his signature black Oakley sunglasses.]
Archer: And here comes a new FGA signing in Johnny Blaze!
[Blayze raises his fists into the air and looks at the crowd as the lights go out again as white strobes flash in time to Daft Punk's "Harder Better Faster Stronger" as the crowd continues cheering. The lights come back on as the beat continues. After several seconds, Tony Edison appears on the stage in a new look. White trunks with his name in red on the back, along with white boots with red laces. He and Blayze look at each other as they run down the ramp and slide into the ring.]
Williams: And their opponents, representing Frontier Grappling Arts... Johnny Blayze and Tony Edison!
[They slide into the ring and stare down the opposition as the crowd gets more and more pumped. The two teams huddle to discuss strategy until the bell rings. Edison and Knight start in the ring, and knight goes with the power to start, wrapping his arms around and dropping Edison with a belly to belly Suplex. Edison hops right back up, and is able to duck under a clothesline, coming back and going for a Headscissors Takedown, but Knight drops him with a counter into a Powerbomb, and Blayze just shakes his head on the apron. Edison gets right back up and charges again, pissed off now, and Knight takes him down with a shoulder block, this time stepping on Edison's chest to prove his power. He doesn't get very far before Blayze comes in and takes him out from behind with a bulldog.]
Archer: Great move to save his partner there!
[Wakefield comes in and goes for a Clothesline on Blayze, who ducks and tosses Wakefield out of the ring and onto the floor. He knees Knight in the gut now as he runs out and goes to the outside with a Suicide Dive that takes Wakefield down again. Edison takes advantage of the distraction as he climbs to the top rope. He dives off, hoping for the best, and connects a Missile Dropkick that finally takes Knight off of his feet. Edison takes advantage now and backs into the ropes, running back and sending Knight back to the mat with a Tilt a Whirl Headscissors! He tags in Blayze, who springboards off of the top rope and hits Knight with a forearm to the head, covering quickly.]
[T--Kickout by Knight. Blayze picks Knight up off the mat, and knight hits him with a Headbutt to the midsection, and this forces Blayze to back off. When Blayze is focused again, he charges at Knight, who is also charging, and he hits Blayze with a monstrous Clothesline! He tags in Wakefield now, who picks Blayze up and connects with a vertical Suplex. He follows up by getting to his feet and landing a Leg Drop, then proceeds to taunt Edison, who is still catching his breath. He turns around and whips Blayze into the ropes, and when Blayze comes back, he is lifted and slammed into the mat with a Spinebuster.]
Raines: That's one hell of a move there!
Archer: Quite the violent type, these two.
Raines: That's the name of the game, archer. If you can't handle it, work somewhere else.
[He covers Blayze, picking up a one count before Edison is in the ring and breaking up the pin. He is greeted by Knight trying to drop him with a Clothesline, but Edison trips him up and he gets tangled into the ropes. Edison then runs and kicks Knight in the spine several times before being hit by Wakefield. Blayze grabs Wakefield from behind and locks him in a sleeper hold, the wraps his legs around and drops him onto his side. Edison is choking Knight in the ropes, when the madness is finally cut back on the official. Blayze and Wakefield are the legal men in, and Wakefield manages to grab a rope to get the hold broken.]
[As both men get to their feet, Wakefield is hit hard with a few punches to the chest, followed by an Enziguiri that sounds like it could knock his teeth right out of his head. Blayze covers, getting a two, but Wakefield is somehow able to kick out. After shaking the cobwebs, Wakefield is slowly getting to his feet before being met with a Dragonrana from Blayze, who goes for yet another pin attempt. This time he gets a two before it is escaped from. Blayze tags in Edison and the two alternate stomps onto Wakefield. Stomp after stomp they go until they're told to break it up, and Blayze is made to leave the ring. Edison is able to keep Wakefield from retaining his vertical base with a quick moving arsenal that ends in doing a handstand front flip into the ropes, back flipping back onto his feet and ending with an elbow drop onto Wakefield, all in one fluid motion. Blayze keeps cheering Edison on as he goes for a cover, but it isn't quite enough.]
Archer: These men are giving it their all tonight!
Raines: Yadda Yadda, just doing their jobs. I've seen better. I've seen worse, but I've seen better.
[Edison gets to his feet and looks around, smiling to the crowd. He leans on the ropes, waiting for Wakefield to get to his feet. Wakefield does, and when he's got himself a bit more composed, he goes for a Clothesline, but Tony runs forward and ducks, stopping himself and with his signature backflip, he cuts Wakefield's story short with the Pelé! The crowd is on their feet after that shot, and Blayze is all pumped up and ready for action now! Knight can't take this much more though, and he has no choice but to protect his employer, as he just clobbers Edison hard with a running shoulder that flattens him. The ref is quick to action, sending Knight back out of the ring, but the damage was done, and Edison wasn't able to capitalize on that move. He and Wakefield start crawling around the ring, finding themselves some ropes to climb to their feet with the support of, and Edison winds up leaning on a turnbuckle which turns out to be a mistake as he is hit with a hard Corner Splash. Wakefield then lifts Tony to sit him on the top turnbuckle, and he climbs up onto the second. He hits Edison in the head a couple times, and Edison is able to return the favor. He drapes Edison's arm over him and grabs his trunks, going for a Superplex, but Edison is absolute deadweight, and manages to drop this whole move, but it goes to the outside, and both men land in a very awkward landing in the floor! The fans are in a hue pandemonium after this, as both partners check on their teammates! ]
Raines: Aaaaannd we're back to square one.
Archer: The two men crash hard to the floor.
[Drake Knight grabs his teammate and rolls him back in the ring. He then shoves Blayze aside, and grabs Edison. He tosses Edison into the ring. Blayze takes offense to this and pushes the big man. They start brawling on the floor, much to the delight of the ringside fans.]
Raines: Well this is getting crazy.
[Edison is up, and his attention is on the brawl on the outside. Wakefield sneaks up behind him, sets him up, and drops Edison with the "Spectacular Finish" (Full-Nelson Facebuster). Wakefield pins...]
Williams: Here are your winners... Jake Wakefield and Drake Knight!!
Archer: Impressive win by Knight and Wakefield.
[Drake Knight comes in and helps his partner up, raising his hand as the crowd boos in disapproval.]
Raines: Hot start to the night huh partner?
Archer: Got that right, and we're only getting started...
[We see a random UWL worker backstage squatting. His name isn't important. Let's call him Chad. He is 'working' in the halls of the Amway Center, as a fellow stagehand enters the scene. He's just as unimportant. His name will be Eric. Eric walks up to Chad, from behind and grabs Chad on the shoulder, startling the man.]
Eric: Chad, I just saw the weirdest thing.
[Chad turns his head, looking over his shoulder.]
Chad: What was it?
Eric: ... I... I think it was... Santa Claus...
Chad: Santa Claus? Really? You know it's February right?
Chad: And you do realize Santa isn't real right?
Eric: Of course I know that Chad. I'm not an idiot.
[Chad doesn't reply, he simply turns his head forward, with a face as if saying 'I'm not so sure about that one.']
Eric: Look man. I know what I saw. I'm not crazy.
Chad: I didn't say you were.
Eric: So you believe me?
[Chad sighs and stands up, putting a hand on Eric's back.]
Chad: How about you just take the night off man.
Eric: Come on. Don't be like that. I know what I saw.
Chad: You've been under a lot of stress lately. Denise left you. Took the kids. Maybe you just need a good nights sleep for a change.
[Chad begins guiding Eric towards the exits of the arena as he speaks.]
Chad: Don't worry about bossman. I'll cover for you. Say you caught a bug or something.
Eric: You sure?
Chad: Yeah man. Just promise me you'll take it easy ok?
[Eric ponders a moment. Now the two stand just inside the doors of the Amway Center.]
Eric: Maybe you're right. I can't remember the last time I had a full nights sleep.
[The two men hug. They're obviously close coworkers.]
Eric: Thanks bro.
[Eric opens the door, and exits the Amway Center. Chad watches his friend leave, then turns and leaves the scene himself, to go back to work. Suddenly bells are heard.]
Voice: HO HO HO!!!
[The lights in the arena begin to slowly strobe orange and white as "Come Gangsta" by Tech N9ne begins to thump through the arena. The crowd cheers as Eric Andrews walks out onto the stage with a slow swagger.] Keith Williams: Heading to the ring, hailing from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, weighing in at 243 pounds. He represents AWF... The Messiah of Mayhem... ERIC ANDREWS!!!
[Eric pauses at the top of the ramp, looking around the arena before finally throwing his arms out to his sides, jawing to the crowd while a shower of sparks fall behind him in the entranceway. As the sparks begin to slow, Eric slowly begins to walk down the ramp, a cocky smirk on his face and his signature swagger leading the way. At the bottom of the ramp, Eric looks around the arena once more before moving to the steps and climbing onto the apron. Eric pauses for a moment before entering the ring, taking a moment to say something to the fans at ringside. Eric then laughs before climbing between the ropes. Once in the ring, Eric moves to the middle of the ring, once again holding his arms out at his sides, reveling in the ovation he's receiving as the lights return to normal and the music fades.]
Archer: Eric Andrews looks focused tonight.
Raines: Some UWL fans may not know him, but Eric Andrews is one of the premier wrestlers in the AWF.
Archer: His opponent is no slouch either Mac.
[Maximum The Hormone's "What's Up People" plays as Ono Hezonfaia appears at the stage, arms raised high.]
Keith Williams: And his opponent, representing DERP... He weighs in at 225 pounds... ONOOOOOOO HEZONFAAAAIIAAAA!!!
[Ono begins his march to the ring, high fiving a few lucky kids along the way.]
Raines: Ono... something something may have a name I can't pronounce but he is a dangerous man inside that ring.
Archer: But here is his new manager, Doctor Syn.
[Syn appears behind Ono, following him down the ramp, taking a swig of... let's call it Root Beer, out of his flask, then puts it back in his pocket. Ono climbs into the ring as his music begins fading out. The two men circle the ring as the bell sounds.]
Raines: This should be a fantastic contest. Two opposite styles. Eric Andrews is a strong bull who has many ways to beat you. He can suplex you, he can make you tap. He can spike you on your head with a nasty Piledriver.
Archer: And Ono Hezonfaia is more of a judo machine who can decapitate you in numerous ways.
[The two men tie up, and the stronger Eric Andrews easily backs Ono to the corner. Referee Adam Bish is quick to demand a break, and Andrews gives him the clean break. Ono comes back out of the corner as Doctor Syn shouts instructions to him. They tie up again, but Ono Hezonfaia quickly slips out and connects with a stiff kick into the quadracept of Eric Andrews. Doesn't really hurt Andrews. Just lets him know Ono is the quicker of the two.]
Archer: We see both mens strengths early on here. Andrews with his power. Hezonfaia with his speed.
Raines: Should be interesting to see how it plays out through the remainder of this match.
[Eric Andrews raises his arm, challenging the smaller Hezonfaia to a test of strength. Ono looks around the Amway Center, almost asking the fans if he should do it. As his manager shouts NO! Ono raises his hand up to accept the challenge. The two men lock their hands, and Andrews immediately gets the upper hand, but as he powers Ono down, Ono takes him off guard by kicking out his leg, using it to break the hold. He then does a leg sweep, taking down Andrews. Eric Andrews, embarrassed rushes to his feet, and runs at Hezonfaia, who side steps him. Andrews hits the ropes, and on the return, has to duck as Ono Hezonfaia leapfrogs him. Andrews again hits the ropes. He is full speed ahead, when Ono sticks out his hand as in telling him to STOP. Andrews stops dead in his track, confused, and gets a bitch slap from Ono right across the face. Eric Andrews can't believe it and charges, but is taken down by a running Ono Hezonfaia who connects a baseball slide to the ankle and shin of Eric Andrews. Andrews falls flat on his face.]
Archer: Eric Andrews has been taken off his game.
Raines: He just slapped him right in the face!
Archer: Hezonfaia is very unorthadox.
Archer: Hezonfaia... It's not hard Mac. You're a broadcast journalist. Shouldn't you know these things?
Raines: Fuck off. He should have a last name that doesn't look like I dropped my Scrabble tiles.
[Andrews rethinks his strategy as he cautiously rises to his feet. Ono Hezonfaia patiently waits for his opponent to stand back up. They tie up, and Eric Andrews quickly locks in an armwrench. Ono winces in pain, but rolls through, and reverses the hold. He then switches to a side headlock. Andrews backs into the ropes and uses them as leverage to shove Hezonfaia off of him. Ono hits the ropes, and comes sprinting back. Eric Andrews drops down and Ono has to hop over him to avoid tripping. Andrews hurries to his feet, but Ono has stopped running. Andrews turns around and receives ANOTHER slap from Ono.]
Raines: Jesus Christ Eric Andrews is livid!
Archer: Wouldn't you be?
[Eric Andrews finally gets the upper hand when he catches Ono with a knee to the gut, doubling him over. Andrews clubs the back of Hezonfaia, then lifts him up, and powers him down with a thunderous bodyslam.]
Raines: Eric Andrews finally got a hold of Ono, and he's taking control now.
[Andrews stalks Hezonfaia as Ono struggles to his feet. Eric Andrews brings him up the remainder of the way, pummling the back/shoulder blade area, sending Hezonfaia stumbling away. Andrews grabs Ono by the hair, then takes him down with a textbook Russian Legsweep. Eric Andrews wastes no time in pinning Hezonfaia.]
Archer: A lot of fight left in Hezonfaia.
Raines: Yeah, this is one tough dude. It's going to take a lot more than that to beat him.
[The Messiah of Mayhem backs Ono Hezonfaia into the corner and fires a few right hands, ignoring the ref's pleads to stop. Andrews then takes the air out of Ono with body shots before sending him across the ring, crashing hard into the opposite corner. Eric Andrews follows suit and charges at Ono, but Hezonfaia manages to get a foot up and Andrews runs jaw first into the heel of Ono's shoe. Andrews stumbles back, but charges again, with the same outcome. A foot to the face. Andrews seems out on his feet. Ono Hezonfaia climbs, and sits on the top turnbuckle. He reaches out, locking Andrews head in a front face lock.]
Raines: He's going for a Tornado DDT!
[Hezonfaia leaps, spinning in mid air. Before he can plant Andrews' head into the canvas, Eric Andrews manages to shove Ono off of him. Hezonfaia lands on his feet in the middle of the ring, and comes right back at Eric Andrews. Andrews sees him coming and connects with a vicious Discus Clothesline!]
Archer: My goodness! What a clothesline!
Raines: Hah! He nearly decapitated Sonny Ono!
Archer: Ono Hezonfaia!
Raines: Yeah, well we about had his head rolling around the ring. I don't know how he kicked out of that.
[Instead of getting up, after the kickout, Eric Andrews suddenly grabs Ono Hezonfaia's arm and applies an armlock. The look of shock on Ono's face tells it all as he desperately looks for an escape. Eric Andrews is screaming for Hezonfaia to tap out. Referee Adam Bish is in perfect position to make the call, but Ono Hezonfaia somehow makes it to the ropes and grabs the bottom rope, forcing the break. As Andrews lets go, Ono Hezonfaia rolls to the floor, clutching his right arm. Doctor Syn is there to check on his client. Eric Andrews is heading that way, as Syn bolts for safer ground. As Andrews climbs through the ropes, Ono Hezonfaia trips him up and Andrews lands back first onto the apron.]
Raines: Well that was creative.
Archer: Hezonfaia is a very crafty wrestler. He knows many ways to get the upper hand.
[Ono grabs the ankle of Eric Andrews and tugs him off the apron, and onto the floor below. Ono quickly climbs onto the apron, with his back to Andrews, who is coming to his feet. Ono takes a deep breath, then leaps, and connects a standing moonsault off the apron and crashes down on Eric Andrews on the floor. The crowd applaudes in approval as Ono Hezonfaia gets to his knees, looking around at the rowdy crowd.]
Archer: That's why they call him the Japanese Jumping Bean!
Raines: JAPANESE JUMPING BEAN!?!?! You've been trying to get me to pronounce Hezo-something another when I could have been calling him the Japanese Jumping Bean??
Archer: Could you be professional please?
Raines: Doubt it.
[Ono Hezonfaia rises to his feet and pulls Andrews up, then rolls him in the ring. Ono follows Andrews in, but Andrews is up and pounds on Ono. He pulls Ono up and shoots him off the ropes, and Ono goes across the ring, hitting the ropes hard. Andrews meets him in the middle of the ring, but Ono ducks his clothesline. Hezonfaia hits the ropes again, and on the return, Ono leaps and connects a knee to the nose of Eric Andrews. Both men rise to their feet and Ono connects a kick to the thigh. Then a second. Then he kicks the other leg of Andrews. Kicks to the chest and abdomen take the air out of the Messiah of Mayhem. Ono connects a solid kick to the back of the leg of Eric Andrews, dropping him to his knees. A back kick to the face has Eric Andrews loopy, and nearly down. But he maintains his balance on his knees. Meanwhile, Ono Hezonfaia is running to the ropes. On the return, Ono connects a shining wizard. Andrews collapses and Ono shoots the half, pinning Andrews...]
Raines: Did he get him?
Archer: Referee Adam Bish says no. Eric Andrews JUST got his shoulder up.
Raines: He should be unconcious right about now.
Archer: He's showing that he has the guts and desire as well.
[Ono stays aggressive, using what brought him here, with more strikes. Strikes to the face of Eric Andrews has him dazed. Then Ono builds up the strength, with the crowd behind him. Hezonfaia swings for the fences with a haymaker, but Andrews side steps, and grabs an off balance Ono, and applies an abdominal stretch.]
Raines: Great strategy here by Andrews. Calm down Ono, and regroup.
Archer: Abdominal Stretch in the middle of the ring, perfectly executed.
[Andrews applies the pressure, really twisting Hezonfaia, but Ono shows he is strong in his own right, and counters into a hip toss, escaping the hold. Andrews is down, but is quick to his feet. Hezonfaia dropped to one knee, but stands tall, momentarily until Eric Andrews drops him with a running STO. Pin...]
Raines: Eric Andrews is a natural in that ring.
[Andrews applies a rear chin lock. Pressing his weight on Hezonfaia. Ono is in real trouble, as the UWL Crowd gets behind him, trying to will him up to his feet. Ono begins the battle to his feet. Two knees. One foot. He's on both feet, and turn it into a side headlock. Ono connects a few elbows to the midsection, breaking the hold. Ono hits the ropes but as soon as he turns around, Eric Andrews connects a snap powerslam. Andrews pins...]
Archer: Another near fall, and Hezonfaia is in real trouble right now.
[Again, Andrews applies a rear chin lock. Once again, Ono Hezonfaia begins fighting to his feet. Once he breaks free, Ono connects with multiple back hand shots to the neck and face of Eric Andrews. Andrews ducks one mighty swing and lifts Ono in the air with a bearhug.]
Raines: Ya gotta give it to Eric Andrews. The man came in with a strategy. And it is working to a perfection.
Archer: No one ever doubted the brains of Eric Andrews.
Raines: Now, Sonny Ono on the other hand...
[Hezonfaia is desperate to find an escape. After what seems like an eternity, Ono finds his escape. By BITING the forehead of Eric Andrews! Instead of climbing down, Ono Hezonfaia climbs on the body of Andrews, and finds himself sitting on the shoulders of Eric Andrews. Andrews gets a smile on his face as he thinks he has Ono at his mercy. It's at that moment that Hezonfaia starts bopping Andrews' head as if it was a bongo, then takes Eric Andrews down with a victory roll!]
Raines: What was that?!?
[Both men get to their feet and Hezonfaia takes Andrews down with an armdrag. Then a second. Then a backdrop. Ono follows up with a dropkick. The Messiah of Mayhem staggers to his feet and Ono Hezonfaia drops him with a Judo hiptoss. Ono runs the ropes, dives across Eric Andrews' body into a handstand. Hezonfaia delays the handstand just for a second to work the crowd. He pops up for just enough air to do a forward tuck for a cannonball senton splash!]
Archer: Handstand Seated Senton may have won the match!
Archer: So close!
Raines: Hemerdinger almost won!
Archer: Heeezzz... on... faia...
Raines: .... He's on Fire???
Archer: .... Close enough.
[Ono Hezonfaia backs Andrews into the corner, and whips him out, but Andrews, to his credit, reverses and sends Ono to the turnbuckle. Andrews charges to Ono, but Ono lifts Andrews up and connects a stun-gun type maneuver, sending Eric Andrews face first onto the top turnbuckle pad. Andrews slouches into the corner, and Ono backs away, creating space. He then sprints right at Andrews and connects a nasty running back elbow. Eric stumbles out of the corner, and Ono goes behind, and connects with the Delfin Special (Bridging German suplex, with a leg-trapping back floatover)]
Raines: HE'S ON FIRE!!!!
[Ono Hezonfaia cannot believe Eric Andrews kicked out. Andrews is slowly rising to his feet and Ono attempts another Delfin Special, but it is blocked. Eric connects three desperation back elbows to the temple, and spins around. Andrews lifts Ono off his feet and drives him down with a release German Suplex. Neither man is able to capitalize.]
Archer: Both men are down now Mac. It's anyone's ball game.
[Both men slowly get to their feet and exchange right hands. Ono begins getting the upperhand, until Eric Andrews explodes with a spinning Spinebuster.]
Archer: Devestating High Angle Spinebuster by the Messiah of Mayhem!
Raines: That's gotta do it.
Archer: Except he isn't going for a pin...
[Andrews doesn't go for a pin. Instead he waits for Ono to rise to his feet. Andrews stalks Ono, from behind, and tries to lock in the Kaliko Klutch (Rear Naked Choke).]
Archer: Kaliko Klutch!
Raines: But does he have it locked in completely?
[Doctor Syn climbs onto the apron, distracting the referee. Out of pure desperation, Ono Hezonfaia uses this chance to connect a lowblow. Ono is free, but he simply drops to the mat. Eric Andrews is stumbling around, trying to collect himself.]
Raines: That dirty bastard!
Archer: Ono Hezonfaia, not usually known for his dirty tactics, using every opportunity he can take to win this match.
[Andrews is stumbling right towards Doctor Syn. Syn takes out his trusty ol' flask.]
Raines: He's got the flask! And a nice one too! Shiney!
[Doctor Syn rears back! But Andrews spots it and steps aside. Ono Hezonfaia was right behind Andrews! Syn stops just inches from smashing the flask into Ono's face. They both go wide-eyed, realizing their near fatal mistake. Ono Hezonfaia turns around and is met with a boot to the gut. Andrews lifts, then drops Ono with the Strangeland Driver (Package Piledriver). Pin...]
["Come Gangsta" plays once again as the bell sounds.]
Keith Williams: Here is your winner... ERRRIICCC AAAAANDREWWWWSSS!!!
[The ref raises Andrews hand high, before he rolls out of the ring.]
Archer: Incredible match, and Eric Andrews gives AWF an impressive win.
Raines: Well... he's not on fire anymore...
[Andrews backs up the ramp as Ono Hezonfaia is still on the mat, clutching his skull.]
Archer: What a hot start to the show.
Raines: Yeah, a lot of new faces already making a name for themselves... And what the hell was up with those two guys backstage? Did I hear someone say ho ho ho?
[The lights in the arena dim down as the fans start buzzing with what is about to happen. The big screen flickers madly for a few moments before the globe logo of the Global Wrestling Revolution appears on it. A few further seconds pass as the dim lights change to an orange hue and "Absolute Zero" by Stone Sour TEARS through the speaker systems here in the Amway Center, Orlando, Florida. Out onto the rampway steps Chaos "The Kyokudo One", owner and founder of the GWR. He pauses on the ramp and points to the sky as huge rockets fly up into the rafters either side of him. He is dressed fairly casually this evening, sunglasses... despite being indoors, a white leather jacket with a GWR t-shirt underneath, torn jeans and black boots. In his hands as he heads down towards the ring he has an award, the UWL award for 2012 Best Website that the GWR won. Climbing into the ring to a mixed reaction, Chaos calls for a microphone and is handed one as the crowd wait with baited breath for his first words in a UWL ring.]
Chaos: Allow me to first introduce myself. My name is Chaos, the current owner of Global Wrestling Revolution.
[A warm reception follows after this.]
Chaos: You might notice that the GWR doesn't generally take part in the UWL tournaments and I've had a lot of questions as to why, so here I am, on a Sunday night when I would normally be relaxing, in front of all of you to answer that very question.
[There is a definite buzz about the crowd now...]
Chaos: GWR is BETTER than the UWL. Look around people, open your eyes...
[Boos now start to emanate from the sell out crowd as Chaos shakes his head...]
Chaos: Be quiet! Have some damn respect when I'm talking to you people!
[This doesn't help and the boos and jeers grow louder. He's not exactly endearing himself to the people here...]
Chaos: As I was saying, UWL is nothing to the GWR... tin pot companies abound. We've sent people to your shows, these federations that make up the UWL... and, for a start how are you charging those prices for that CRAP? Mediocre at best, god awful at worst. You cannot hold a candle to the power of the Revolution.
[Chaos points up at the screen where a pre-recorded video of him logging onto various promotion websites is shown. He’s also for some reason wearing glasses in the video although he doesn’t need them to read.]
Chaos: FGA... with your little red forum and your lion logo... with such luminaries as Pat Gordon Jr, AJ Fairchild and Bob Pooler. For a start.. Frontier Grappling Arts.. REALLY!? Couldn't come up with anything better than that huh?No wonder you're still touring the bingo halls, schools and sports centres of the world while we're selling out the Wells Fargo Center for February's One for the Ages pay per view. I'm sure the elderly residents love you guys though... so TOP JOB!
[Chaos makes a mock thumbs up with a daft grin on his face before dead-panning back into serious mode.]
Chaos: Fan-fn-tastic. Pat Gordon, the Boston Bruiser, with his fabled... Pat Lock... oooh, see, I'm quaking in my boots right now! Couldn't wrestle his way out of a cardboard box... let alone defeat the GWR's resident traditional MACHINE, Abraham Gore! Bob Pooler, according to the FGA, is a battle tested veteran... a veteran of what? He doesn't sound like he could unblock a SINK let alone survive a wrestling match with GWR's Irish Enigma, Stellar!
[More jeers now, the fans not liking their UWL stars getting slated in such a manner!]
Chaos: And then we move on to PWX...
[Chaos points up at the screen, showing himself - still pre-recorded with a laptop, accessing the homepage...]
Chaos: ...with a website so bad it looks like I've time travelled back to the Angelfire days of 2001 just entering the website. No wonder we won this award! Pro Wrestling X - obviously not a creative bone in anyone's body! X standing for what exactly? Whereabouts your federation ranks on the A-Z of all time great feds? Adrenaline, your weekly show... we had a wrestler called Adrenalin in the GWR, could be a relation because he was also piss poor, lacking in content and watched by almost NOBODY.
[Chaos on the screen starts to laugh...]
Chaos: Oh, what's the matter past me?
[Chaos on the screen starts to laugh at various website sections like, The Code of Honour and Secret Origins. Chaos in the ring is also laughing now.]
Chaos: Secret Origins!? Gee thanks Enid Blyton. Do we need a secret code to sign up to the roster? This weeks password, twelve year old's teaparty. Oh what japes! You're meant to be a PROFESSIONAL wrestling outfit, let's at least get a website right people! Come on. I see though, that PWX have a hashtag as part of their logo, very 21st century of course... kind of like having a flat screen TV in a hotel decorated in tie-dye and 70's memorabilia... OUT OF PLACE. Their hashtag is #movingforward whereas I think #gettingpassedbythecompetition, #failingbadly and #pisspoor are all far far better alternatives. Maybe we should take a vote here in Orlando...
[The crowd want none of this... or even Chaos in their ring by this point...]
Chaos: I noticed someone called Tripp Skylark on the roster and was past caring by that point. Skylark wouldn't stand a chance against the likes of the Russian Shrike, Kira Orlova!
[Our pre-recorded villain then scrolls to the next site, via the handy buttons at the base of the UWL site of course!]
Chaos: Adrenaline Wrestling Federation... I'm sensing a theme here.. OH HELLO BANE! Good to see you! Maybe this is actually just a Batman tribute site! I should sign up, tell them not to bother making any more of them. Christian Bale is bound to be here somewhere, alongside Chris Horton... naturally of Horton Hears A Who fame, having a good run as a 'rassler these days and Jake Wakefield and Eric Andrews who sound like they have as much personality as Keanu Reeves in a coma! Apparantly this is a place where it's all about you - well, obviously as wrestlers are out for themselves 99 percent of the time.. but thanks for stating the obvious. Was there a UWL award for that? Anyway Horton, Andrews and Wakefield... who honestly, I mean, sound like the last names of a boring prog rock band and would be decimated by the likes of D.C Suicide King, Xander Beck and Hank "The Tank" Gunyon - proper bonafide superstars of the Global Wrestling Revolution.
[Chaos on the screen has already moved on, shaking his head in pity... he clicks on the next website and starts to go into some kind of spasm, looking as if he is having a seizure. He falls from his chair and a few moments past, the camera zooming in on the website. Chaos in the ring is laughing once more...]
Chaos: DERP. DERP. MR DERP! Anyone got an inflatable hammer I can hit myself with? Ho ho... wouldn't that be silly kids... DERP! Sounds like some kind of pesticide that you'd use on crops that slowly, gradually kills people unless you put it in their tea and then it might just kill them outright. I'd want to be killed outright if I was apart of this. Believe me. Still at least you've got the basic rights, having a roster and such is important, even if all the people on it would be INJECTED by Madd Marcus of the Untouchable Cabinet and GWR fame.
Chaos: Monarchy Wrestling, same tired lion logo, same tired forum, same tired roster, same tired shite.
[Huge jeering from the crowd here in Florida now.]
Chaos: And finally, last but not least, North Atlantic Wrestling. No, don't worry they're not based out on an oil rig...but if they were, they'd get about the same number of people viewing their shows. First task of course is to join their roster, perhaps as a time lord? That could be a viable gimmick to get in there and we could take ourselves back to the 1950's when territory federations were relevant. Santa Claus is on the roster... alongside such greats as "Zero", Diego Martinez who is no doubt a Mexican drug lord and more women than you can shake a stick at... leading me to believe this is a cover for an Eastern European sex trafficking ring!
[The crowd seem somewhat shocked at this as the screen fades. Chaos has seemingly stopped mocking the other UWL federations.]
Chaos: So it's all well and good giving the GWR an award for the 'Best Website' on your little year end awards, but we all know the GWR should be taking home the best federation title, the best superstar title - we should be overrunning the UWL titles.
[Chaos looks at the "Best Website" title that he is carrying... AND SNAPS IT OVER HIS KNEE! He kicks the pieces out of the ring.]
Chaos: You're all sitting pretty, content in your little two bit federations with no ambition, no desire...
[He stops, looking into the camera.]
Chaos: If this stirs anything... and I mean anything in you, you know where we're at and the war is coming, believe you me.
[He nods, smirking...]
Chaos: The challenge is there, you guys think that you're 'it', you think you have the cajones to come and take on the GWR - the door is there. Come right in. Alternativaly, we'll see you very soon when the GWR takes over the UWL, wins your titles and leaves you dead in the gutter. Time is running out.
[There is a huge amount of jeering now, cups being thrown and fans are getting pretty irate at this display of arrogance from the self proclaimed "God's Favourite Wrestler".]
Chaos: To quote one of our own, the legendary Heretic, if you don't believe us... JUST WATCH US! And let me...
[Chaos is cut off as the powers that be deem it fit to end his in ring interview right there. He taps the microphone a few times before the dawning realisation hits him. We hear him shout "Mission accomplished" before hopping out of the ring and heading up the ramp, a huge grin on his face.]
Raines: .... What the hell was that?
Archer: I... I'm not sure Mac... I'm not sure...
Be sure to tune into P.W. Syndicated for the fall out of Wrestlefest II.
Between the Ropes returns next week. As does One on One.
Season finale of One on One airs next month, with special guest, UWL Owner Kevin Hill.
[The ring is set up and ready for the match as the lights in the place turn to a gold hue as "King of the World" by Porcelain and the Tramps hits and the fans go wild with cheers as the man representing them tonight, Alex Castellanos, heads out from the back looking completely in the zone and ready to go as he heads down the ramp.]
Keith Williams: The following contest is set for one fall and is for the UWL World Tag Team Championship! Introducing the challengers... First, from Galveston, Texas. Weighing in at 220 pounds, representing PWX... ALEEEXX CASTELLLLLLAANNOOOSSSS!!!
[Alex heads past the fans who pat his back as he heads up the ramp, looking completely focused as he heads into the ring over to his corner.]
Raines: How the hell is this going to work? These two don't even know each other. And they expect to win the Tag Titles tonight?
Archer: That's the plan, yeah.
[The opening chords of “Superunknown” begin to play throughout the arena as Dom Harter steps out from behind the black curtain. He stands there, stroking his beard with a devilish grin on his face.]
Keith Williams: And his partner... From Cambridge, Ontario... Weighing in at 235 Pounds. Representing FGA... DOMMMM HAAARRTTERRRRR!!!
[Dom stands tall at the top of the ramp, when all of a sudden, WHACK!]
Archer: My God! Mac! It's the Black Circle Boys!
Raines: Not even waiting until their music hits. I like it!
[BCB jumps Dom Harter from behind, before he can start his march towards the ring. Lark Fenriz is directing traffic, telling Shawn Ryder to attack, attack, attack. Alex Castellanos darts out of the ring, and rushes to save his partner. Alex delievers right hands to both members of BCB, but the numbers game is too much for him, and eventually, the UWL Tag Champs take him down as well.]
Archer: This is not right!
[Ryder lifts Dom Harter up, and drops him throat first across the steel guardrail. Fenriz meanwhile, has Alex by the hair, dragging him down the ramp. Alex, showing his toughness, gets a few shots in to the abdomen of Lark before Fenriz stops and hammers the back of Castellanos, dropping him to the floor. Fenriz lifts Alex up, then whips him, sending him crashing hard into the steel steps.]
[Up the ramp still, Ryder and Dom Harter are having an all out brawl. Ryder gets a thumb in the eye of Harter, then sets him up for a suplex on the steel ramp. Harter blocks it, musters up some strength, and powers Ryder over with his own suplex. Both men's bodies thud on the steel as the crowd lets out an 'oooohhh.']
Raines: This is fucking chaos!
Archer: Has the match officially started?
Raines: I don't think so Frankie.
[Fenriz lifts Castellanos up, using the old school fish hook to lead him, then rolls the youngster in the ring. Lark follows him in, but Alex catches Fenriz with a boot to the gut. Then another.]
[Alex rocks the tower of a man with a few right hands, then turns and hits the ropes. Full speed ahead. Castellanos flies at Fenriz with a crossbody, but Fenriz catches Castellanos in mid air. He toys with the kid, circling the ring, with a sick smile, before heaving Alex back with a Last Call. Fenriz looks for the early victory.]
Archer: Black Circle Boys have caught this team off guard.
Raines: They still haven't even been in the ring together yet Frankie.
[Castellanos fights to get to his feet, and catches Fenriz with more boots to the gut. This time he adds in a dropkick, and has Lark realing. Alex again turns to hit the ropes.]
Raines: Kid, don't you remember what just happened two minutes ago?
[Alex comes right at Fenriz and the quicker Castellanos is able to duck a swing from Lark. Alex hits the ropes. He ducks another swing by Lark. Alex now hits the ropes for the fourth time, and possibly is going too fast for himself. On the return he is met with the bottom of the shoe of Lark Fenriz.]
Archer: A thunderous big boot by Lark Fenriz. That may do it right there!
Raines: That was quick.
[Th-Save by Harter!]
Raines: Hey there he is!
Archer: Dom Harter finally is inside a UWL ring.
[Harter does just enough to stop the count. He tries to keep Fenriz down but Fenriz gets a well placed knee to the gut. The ref steps in between them, telling Harter to get in his corner. Fenriz turns around and Alex Castellanos connects a running baseball slide dropkick to the leg of Lark Fenriz, dropping him like a tree.]
Archer: The big man is down. Now they have to take advantage.
[Alex quickly follows up by stomping on the injured leg of Fenriz. He is relentless with stomp after stomp, after stomp, after stomp. Referee Matt Rollins has to pull Alex off Fenriz to finally get him to stop. The crowd applaudes as Fenriz is in serious pain.]
Archer: That's one way to do it.
Raines: Sum' bitch that was aggressive.
[Alex Castellanos is all smiles, then turns to his corner. Castellanos and Harter are staring at each other.]
Raines: Frankie, this is probably the first time these two have ever seen each other in person. How bizzare is this?
Archer: Bizzare is a perfect word to describe it.
Raines: Talk about 'trusting a stranger.'
[Harter extends his hand and Castellanos tags him in.]
Archer: And there's the tag!
[Harter comes in and picks up right where Castellanos left off. He goes right for Fenriz's injured leg. Harter kicks the thigh as Fenriz tries to use the corner to get to a vertical base. Harter wraps the long leg of Feniz around the middle rope, and uses the rope to torque the knee. Fenriz is being tortured, until a well place thumb to the eye stops Harter dead in his tracks. A second creates much needed space for Lark. The ref gets in his face, but the UWL Tag Champ couldn't care less.]
Archer: Boy Fenriz really needed that.
[Lark screams for his partner, Shawn Ryder, who has been struggling to recover from the suplex, to get up and get in the corner. Ryder obliges and Lark quickly tags him in with a very hard and crisp tag.]
Raines: Now THAT'S a leader!
[Ryder comes right in and walks right up to Harter, who pokes Ryder in the eye!]
Archer: Turnabouts fair play.
Raines: God, you and your cheesey cliches.
[Ryder is blinded, but runs right at Harter again anyways. Harter catches Ryder and slams him down with a powerslam. Harter pins!]
Raines: Whoa. That was pretty close.
Archer: That's all it takes, for this upset to happen.
[Harter stays on Ryder, not allowing him to tag back out. Harter rocks Ryder with stiff european uppercuts, then gets the crowd into it, allowing them to 'WOOOOO' with every knife-edge chop he delivers. Ryder is defenseless in the corner, as his chest is turning red with every chop. Finally, Harter pulls Ryder out of the corner by his arm, then drops him with a short arm clothesline.]
Archer: Harter has taken control of this match.
Raines: Yeah, as the late great Gorilla Monsoon would say, BCB pulled a Pearl Harbor job on Harter, but he has turned it around on them.
[Harter pulls Ryder up by his long hair. A boot to the gut doubles over the UWL Tag Team Champion. Dom Harter hits the ropes, just out of the reach of Lark Fenriz, then executes a perfect swinging neckbreaker. Harter pins...]
[Save by Fenriz...]
Archer: Lark Fenriz in for the save, saving his student, and saving his UWL Tag Team Titles.
Raines: Think he thinks his student sucks yet?
Archer: I doubt that Mac. I'd be quiet. They may be able to hear you.
Raines: It wasn't me. It was the guy behind me.
[Fenriz is screaming at Shawn Ryder to get up and fight as he gets back into his corner. Harter grabs Ryder by the arm, and wrenches it, pulling him to the challengers corner. Harter makes a tag to Alex Castellanos, who climbs the top turnbuckle, and drops down with a double axe handle across the arm of Ryder. Alex follows up with another arm wrench.]
Raines: These two are working surprisingly well together.
Archer: Shouldn't surprise you much. It's two true professionals. Both men just know how to win.
[Alex Castellanos backs Ryder to the ropes, then whips him off, sending Ryder across the ring. Alex ducks early and Ryder stops on a dime, and applies a front face lock. It looks as if he is going for a DDT, but Castellanos is one step ahead, and powers Ryder over with a Northern Lights Suplex.]
Archer: Textbook Northern Lights.
Raines: And he bridges it!
Raines: That was beautiful!
Archer: Gives you flashbacks of Jushin Thunder Liger huh.
Raines: Damn straight!
[Castellanos seems a little shocked that Ryder kicked out, as Ryder tries to get to his feet. Alex meets him at the ropes, and rocks him with a few right hands. Alex sends Ryder off the ropes again, but Shawn reverses it, sending Castellanos across the ring. Castellanos hits the ropes, and Lark Fenriz catches him with a knee to the small of the back from the apron. The impact stalls Castellanos. Shawn Ryder seizes the opportunity and knocks out Castellanos with a roaring elbow. Ryder pins.]
[Ryder gives the ref a look, but quickly snaps out of it and tags in Fenriz. Fenriz comes in and mounts Castellanos, hammering him with hard right hands. Lark finally climbs off of Alex, with a sick smile on his face.]
Archer: Just like that, the UWL Tag Champs are in control.
Raines: Veteran move, sneaking in that knee, just completely stopped the momentum Castellanos had.
[Fenriz brings Castellanos to a vertical base and backs him into the champions corner. Fenriz blatently chokes Alex right in front of the ref. Referee Matt Rollins administors Fenriz to stop. Right before the 5 count, Fenriz does so, and backs off, getting an earful from the ref. WIth the ref's back turned, Shawn Ryder uses the tag rope to choke Alex some more.]
Raines: Classic tag team wrestling right here.
Archer: Classic? They're choking the man! It's cheating!
[Fenriz pulls Alex Castellanos out of the corner and powers him up onto his shoulder. The strong Lark Fenriz walks around the ring, before dropping Alex with a shoulder breaker. Fenriz pins.]
Raines: I notice Dom Harter hasn't done much to help his teammate.
Archer: What are you implying?
Raines: Nothing. Just strange that he isn't jumping in.
Archer: Yeah, it's strange the illegal man isn't running into the ring.
[Fenriz doesn't seem phased that Castellanos kicked out. He allows Alex to stand up, then powers him onto his shoulder once again. This time Alex Castellanos slides off, standing behind Fenriz. Alex drops Fenriz with a reverse DDT. Both men are down!]
Archer: There's the break! Alex needs to tag Harter in now!
[Fenriz is still relatively fresh, and is able to roll the few feet to his corner and tags in Shawn Ryder. Ryder runs in and flies right by Castellanos, and decks Harter on the apron, dropping him to the floor. Ryder turns his attention back to Castellanos, dropping him with a bodyslam. Ryder follows that up with a jumping elbow drop. Ryder pins.]
Archer: The Black Circle Boys have cut the ring off and have isolated Alex Castellanos.
Raines: Yes. Classic tag team wrestling.
[Ryder tags Fenriz back in, and the two club Castellanos. Fenriz powers Castellanos into a sidewalk slam position. He executes a backbreaker. Meanwhile Shawn Ryder has climbed to the middle rope, and he comes crashing down with a legdrop. The ref orders Ryder out of the ring as Fenriz pins. He has Alex pinned for several seconds before the ref sees the pin attempt.]
[Save by Dom Harter...]
Raines: There's your hero, not unbreaking rules.
Archer: I never called Dom Harter a hero. He's far from it. But, Ryder did knock him off the apron just moments ago.
Raines: Excuses, excuses.
[Fenriz is furious at how long it took the ref to make the count, as he grabs Alex by the hair. He puts him in the champions corner, and tags in Ryder. The duo go to work on a helpless Castellanos.]
Archer: I will give the champions credit. They are flat out picking Alex Castellanos apart.
[Ryder and Fenriz bring Castellanos to the center of the ring. Ryder trips Alex, then lifts him in a wheelbarrow position. This is a trademark BCB move, but just before Fenriz can come in with a Cutter, Dom Harter clotheslines him over the top rope. Alex Castellanos counters the wheelbarrow into a bulldog, dropping Ryder face first. Both men lie motionless!]
Archer: What a series of moves!
Raines: Alex has to make the tag though!
[Harter realizes his partner is too exhausted to crawl to the corner, so Harter grabs Alex by the arm and drags him to the corner. Harter steps out, grabs the tag rope, and tags himself in!]
Raines: What was that?! Is that legal?
Archer: Apparently so! And Dom Harter is on fire!
[Harter climbs in and clotheslines Shawn Ryder. Ryder bounces right back up, and gets another clothesline. A dropkick sends Ryder stumbling into the corner. Harter gets a running start, then drives his shoulder into the midsection of Shawn Ryder. Ryder stumbles out of the corner and Harter slams him down with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex. Harter pins!]
[Save by Fenriz...]
[Alex Castellanos, though still exhausted comes in and battles with Fenriz. Fenriz tries a big boot, but Castellanos catches the foot. He then connects with the Welsh Screwdriver (Dragon Screw Whip).]
Archer: Things have broken down now!
Raines: ALL HELL HAS BROKEN LOOSE!!!
[Castellanos is trying to apply the Cloverleaf, even though neither he or Fenriz are the legal men. Fenriz is able to power Castellanos back, and Castellanos stumbles right into Dom Harter. Dom nearly falls, then turns and gets in Alex's face. The two begin to argue until Shawn Ryder shoves Harter into Alex Castellanos. Harter, now dazed, is set up by Ryder, who drops him with a dragon suplex. Ryder pins...]
Raines: Was that three?!
Archer: The ref says two. But oh so close. The miscommunication of Harter and Castellanos nearly costed the duo the match.
[Ryder gets up and looks to end the match. Meanwhile, Fenriz measures up Castellanos. He charges ahead with a big boot, but Castellanos ducks and Fenriz is out of control. He stumbles over the top rope, and falls to the floor.]
Raines: Shawn Ryder is calling for the Frostbite!
[Ryder lifts Harter up, for the Frostbite, in a Musclebuster position. He holds Harter up, and begins walking around the ring. He turns and makes eye contact with Alex Castellanos. Harter even sees the staredown. Alex then looks at Harter and smiles. Castellanos steps back and delievers the Golden Arrow (Superkick) square on the jaw of Shawn Ryder. Dom Harter slides off the shoulders of Ryder, who is out on his feet. Harter wastes no time in connecting with Goodnight To THe World (Pumphandle reverse piledriver)! Harter pins!]
Archer: They did it!!
Keith Williams: Here are your winners... And NEW UWL WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS.... DOM HARTER AND ALEX CASTELLANOS!!!!
[Harters music plays as the ref awards the two men their UWL Tag Titles. Each man grab their titles and look at one another. Neither man are sure of what to do.]
Archer: One of the biggest upsets in recent memory! We have new UWL Tag Team Champions!
Raines: How will they defend the titles? They don't work in the same company!!
Archer: I don't know partner, but they are the champions, either way.
[Backstage is former NAW Heavyweight Champion, the now unemployed Hale Collins. Since he is not wrestling, he is in street gear. Hale is leaned up against the wall, one hand in his pocket. The other holds his cell phone up to his ear.]
Hale: Yeah babe.... I know. It won't be much longer...
[It appears we caught Mr. Collins in the middle of a conversation with one of his ladies.]
Hale: Because I got a few buddies here tonight. I figured I'd stop by and support them.... Yeah, I'll bring something over...
[At that moment, BELLS RING again. 'Snow' is falling from the umm... ceiling. Hale is rendered speechless for a moment. His lady is nagging and nagging, but Hale cannot hear her. He looks up in disbelief as the snow hits him in the face.]
Voice: HO HO HO!!!
[At that moment, a large figure appears next to Hale Collins. The man is wearing a big red coat, big black boots, and rocks a killer white beard. Could it be?? Hale stares at the man, not sure what to do.]
Hale: Baby I'm gonna have to call you back.
[Hale hangs up his phone before even waiting for a reply. He looks the man up and down, unable to say anything.]
Santa: Hello there Hale!
Hale: Who the hell are you?
Santa: Well I'm Santa Claus of course!
Hale: Is this some kind of joke?
Santa: No it is not a joke young man. And you have been quite the naughty boy this year.
Hale: What are you talking about?
Santa: Santa sees it all Hale. The swearing. Mooning the old woman on the side of the road. All the women you sleep with.
Hale: Big deal. Everyone knows I do that.
Santa: When you were 14 and got to third base with your cousin...
Hale: WHAT THE FUCK?? HOW DID YOU KN.... I mean... I don't know what you're talking about. Get away from me you freak.
[Hale storms off, his face as red as Santa's hat. Santa watches him leave and gives a big jolly laugh.]
Santa: HO HO HO!!!
[We go ringside with Archer and Raines. Both are left speechless. Mac Raines' jaw is open as if... well as if he just saw Santa.]
[The crowd is silent as UWL Ring Announcer, Keith Williams stands in the center of the ring.]
Keith Williams: The following contest is a Fatal Four Way Match! And it is to determine the Number One Contender for the UWL International Heavyweight Championship!...
Raines: This should be off the chains Frank.
Archer: You're too old to pull that off Mac.
[Adam Stryker comes out to the sounds of You Ain´t Nobody (´Til Somebody Hates You) by Royal Republic, quickly walking to the ring, looking angry as always and smoking a cigarette.
Keith Williams: Introducing first, from Los Angeles, California, weighing in at 220 pounds. He represents PWX.... He is the Loose Cannon... ADAAAAMMM SSTTRRYYYYYKERRR!!
[Stryker throws the cigarette butt on the ground before entering the ring, where he gets on the top turnbuckle and performs a cut-throat taunt.]
Raines: Adam should know smoking is bad for him.
Archer: Don't you smoke?
Raines: Yeah, but between the booze, drugs, crazy ex-wives, roids flaming up, and dirty skanks, cigarettes are the least of my worries.
Archer: .... And ladies, he's single!
["Perfect Insanity" by Disturbed blasts over the PA system as the crowd starts busting out in cheers. A black limo pulls out close to the ramp on the left side of the arena. The limo driver steps out of the car and walks towards the back of the limo. The writing on the door is inscripted as "Mr. Hollywood." The Limo Driver then opens the door and showcases Brian Hollywood as he steps out of the car. Hollywood looks around each sides of the arena before making his way to the ramp. Walking down the ramp he extends his hands out giving out handshakes to the crowd.]
Keith Williams: Also from Los Angeles, California, weighing in at 220 pounds... "Mr Executive" BRRIIIIANNNN HOLLLLYYYYWOOOOOODD!!
Raines: Wait a sec. Stryker is from LA, weighs 220 pounds, and wrestles in PWX. Hollywood is from LA, weighs 220 pounds, and wrestles in PWX... Yet they are so different it's not even funny.
Archer: Well said partner.
[Hollywood then gets to the ring and walks around the ring once looking about the crowd before walking up the ring steps. He gets in the ring and pumps up the crowd with his hands. Hollywood then walks and stretches by pulling the ropes. He then walks to a turnbuckle and leans up against it.]
Raines: I mean look at them. Complete opposites.
[“Unleashed” blasts out of the speakers as the curtain is pulled back and out steps Pooler. Cellphone flashes illuminate him in an almost strobe light affect as he stands there soaking in the energy. He smiles as he hears the roar of the crowd. He makes his way down to the ring smiling and slapping the hands of those closest to the guard rail.]
Keith Williams: Currently residing in Boston, Massachussetts, weighing in at 218 pounds. Representing FGA... BOB POOOOOOLLEERRRRR!!!
[TBP rolls under the bottom rope and stands up in the corner, a smirk on his face as he stretches his arms across his chest and awaits the start of the match.]
Archer: The ever popular, Mr Bob Pooler. Most consider him the favorite in this contest.
Raines: But he's also the only one who doesn't represent PWX in this match.
Archer: Definitely puts him in a disadvantage. ____________-----------!!!!!!!!!!!!!TRIPP ENTRANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!---------_______________
Archer: Here we go! Fatal Four Way!
[All four men stand in seperate corners. Skylark, daring enough to make the first move walks towards Bob Pooler. This gives Stryker the chance he was waiting for. He jumps Skylark from behind. Pooler joins him and the two men double team him. They back Skylark into the corner and go off with several punches and kicks. Hollywood doesn't seem to be in a hurry to come save Skylark, and instead watches from the opposite side of the ring. Pooler and Adam Stryker whip Tripp to the ropes. They both duck early. Skylark counters with a huge boot to the chest of Adam Stryker. Pooler realizes this and charges at Skylark. Tripp side steps him and tosses him over the top rope. Pooler hits the floor below, but is quick to his feet. Skylark springs over the top rope and lands on Pooler. Both men fall to the floor. Meanwhile in the ring, Stryker is still hurting from the kick. Hollywood charges at him but Stryker side steps, sending Hollywood into the corner. Adam corners him and rocks him with some right hands. The ref orders Stryker to allow Mr Executive out of the corner. He then steps between them to push Adam off. Stryker, as he is stepping away, slaps Hollywood, echoing the Amway Center. Hollywood retaliates and tosses Stryker into the corner. He goes insane with right hands that all connect with Adam Stryker's jaw. Stryker desperately stumbles out of the corner. Hollywood then whips him across the ring then sends him high in the air, only to crash back down.]
Archer: Big time back body drop. Raines: Stupid Adam Stryker. Dont slap a man and expect to get away with it.
[Stryker rises to his feet, possibly on instict, and backs into the corner. Hollywood meets him with a knee to the stomach, before whipping him into the opposite turnbuckle. Hollywood chases after him looking for a splash possibly, but Stryker moves out of the way. Hollywood goes chest first into the turnbuckle. Stryker runs off the ropes and ducks a clothesline attempt. He then leaps into the air looking for a cross body press. Hollywood shows off his strength and catches Stryker in mid-air. He then throws Stryker backwards with a Fall Away Slam. Pin...]
[As Stryker kicks out, Skylark is in and stuns Mr Executive with stiff kicks to the thighs.]
Archer: Skylark looking to take the legs out from under Brian Hollywood.
[Hollywood drops to a knee, then shoves Skylark back, creating space. Tripp Skylark is relentless though and runs, then dropkicks Hollywood square in the face. Hollywood falls to the mat, holding his jaw. Skylark then shoots off the ropes and quickly drops a legdrop. Pin...]
Raines: Not gonna make the PWX Hall of Famer stay down that easy kid.
[Tripp Skylark rushes to his feet and turns around to run off the ropes. But he is met with a vicious clothesline from Bob Pooler, nearly decapitating Skylark. Tripp rolls out of the ring, to recooperate. Skylark has pulled himself to a vertical base in the corner. Pooler turns his attention to him, and charges at him. Pooler drives his shoulder deep into the abdomen of Adam Stryker, then dumps him out of the ring. Hollywood tries catching Pooler off guard with a big boot, but Pooler ducks underneath. Hollywood spins around and Pooler connects with a perfect insiguri. The impact has Hollywood out on his feet, and Bob Pooler follows up with a second insiguri. This one drops Hollywood. Pin... ]
Raines: There's those feet of Bob Pooler.
[Pooler is up but before he can start some more offense on Hollywood, Skylark is back in and hops on Pooler's back, almost applying a sleeper hold. But Pooler shows some strength, and keeps his balance. He back pedals to the turnbuckle squishing Skylark in the process. Tripp lets go of Pooler, and Bob has him cornered. He drives his shoulder deep into the midsection of Tripp Skylark. He then whips Tripp hard across the ring and sends him crashing into the turnbuckle. The impact and force behind the irish whip sends Skylark immediately to the mat clutching his back. Pooler casually walks over to Skylark and stomps on him before lifting him to a vertical base. He then gives him one last boot to the stomache, before hooking his arms, and muscling him into the air, then throws him to the mat with a butterfly suplex. He pins...]
Archer: Bob Pooler is dominating everyone early in this match and looks to put it away early.
Raines: Because he's Bob Pooler!
[Pooler lifts Skylark to a standing position. He whips Tripp across the ring, bouncing off the ropes. Tripp ducks a clothesline attempt from Pooler. He conitnues running and ducks a second clothesline attempt. He springboards off the middle rope, and lands a moonsault on a standing Bob Pooler. Both men are down, but both rush to their feet. Tripp Skylark charges at TBP, but Pooler is ready for him. He tosses Skylark up in the air, but Skylark counters with a head scissors takedown that sends Bob Pooler completely out of the ring. Skylark is up and turns around. Adam Stryker is back in the ring and Tripp sees him coming. He drops Stryker with a dropkick. Adam is back up and Tripp Skylark takes him down with a spinning heel kick.]
Archer: Now it looks like Tripp Skylark is in control of this match.
Raines: These matches are so unpredictable.
[Skylark drops Stryker with a scoop slam, then turns his attention to the turnbuckle. He climbs out onto the apron then onto the top rope. The crowd rises as Skylark leaps off looking for a corkscrew moonsault. Stryker gets his knees up and Tripp crashes onto his knees. Skylark rolls around in pain while Adam gets to his feet. He turns around looking to run off the ropes, but Hollywood who had fallen to the outside, some time ago, pulls the top rope down and Stryker falls over the ropes and crashes next to Hollywood. Hollywood climbs into the ring as Skylark runs at him. Hollywood catches him, then drops Skylark with a Side Effect and pins... ]
Raines: I really thought that could have done it.
Archer: Tripp Skylark is a tough kid. He won't go down easy.
[Hollywood whips Skylark to the ropes and throws him in the air, but Skylark counters with a dropkick to the unsuspecting PWX Hall of Famer. Skylark runs off the ropes but from the outside Adam Stryker trips him, then pulls him out of the ring. Stryker then lifts Tripp in the air and Skylark crashes chest first onto the barricade. Stryker then whips Skylark hard into the steel steps. Adam slides into the ring and sets his eyes on Brian Hollywood who is pulling on the ropes to get to his feet. He has his back to Stryker who walks over to him. Stryker ducks down and powers Hollywood up onto his shoulders.]
Archer: He's looking for an Electric Chair Drop!
[Stryker falls back and Hollywood takes a long ride to the mat, his head bouncing violently off the mat. Adam Stryker quickly climbs on top of his opponent for the pin...]
[Save by Pooler...]
Archer: That may have been the match right there. Bob Pooler just kept the match going.
[Bob Pooler clubs on Strykers back, forcing Adam to roll off of Hollywood. Pooler then stomps on Stryker as he retreats to the corner. Hollywood again uses the ropes to pull himself back up, but Pooler clothesline him completely over the ropes and sends him crashing onto the padded floor. Bob charges at Stryker in the corner but Stryker gets a foot up, stalling Bob Pooler. Adam Stryker climbs onto the middle turnbuckle and leaps off connecting a missle dropkick. Adam quickly pins...]
Archer: What a match!
[Stryker mounts Bob Pooler and attacks with a flurry of rights and lefts. Pooler manages to get his forearms up to protect his face, but still some shots get through. Pooler then shoves Stryker off of him, and both men are quick to their feet. Stryker ducks a clothesline from Pooler, then goes behind him and drops him with a hangmans neckbreaker. Stryker is to his feet and calls for the end. Pooler staggers to his feet and is met with a kick to the gut. Stryker sets him up for 'Die Hard Driver', his version of the Cut Throat Driver, but before he can drop Pooler with it, Skylark sprinboards into the ring dropkicking Stryker. Adam drops backwards as Skylark is quick to his feet. Adam Stryker staggers up as Skylark runs off the ropes. Skylark ducks a desperate clothesline by Stryker. Skylark lifts Adam up, then drops him with a Back Breaker Drop. Skylark gets to his feet and is taken down by a running dropkick by Pooler. Skylark hits the mat, but staggers to the corner. Pooler charges ahead and connects a corner clothesline ala The Miz. Skylark stumbles, out on his feet. Pooler climbs the top rope and comes flying down with a missle dropkick. Pin!]
Archer: NO! Brian Hollywood pulls Pooler out of the ring just in time!
Raines: Smart move!
[Pooler immediately attacks Hollywood for his actions, but Hollywood fires right back and drops Pooler, then sends him crashing into the steel steps. Hollywood climbs into the ring and turns his attention to Adam Stryker. He drops him with a big boot. He then turns around and Tripp Skylark leaps off the top rope with a hurricanrana! Pin!]
[Skylark cant beleive it and climbs the top rope again. He waits for Hollywood to stand up, which he finally does. Tripp leaps off again looking for another hurricanrana, but Hollywood ducks. Skylark flies over Brian, but lands on his feet. Brian Hollywood attacks Skylark, but Skylark, out of nowhere connects with the Mat Slam (X-Factor)! Pin!]
[Save by Stryker...]
Raines: Things are getting wild!
Archer: It is literally anyone's game here.
[Stryker and Skylark exchange right hands, but Skylark gets a nice boot to the gut. He goes for another Mat Slam, but Stryker grabs the wrist of Skylark, spins out of the predictament, and trips Skylark. He locks the legs, and applies a Cloverleaf!]
Raines: Texas Cloverleaf!
Archer: This could do it! He's in the middle of the ring!
[Adam Stryker has Skylark in the middle of the ring. Skylark is ready to submit when... WHACK!! Bob Pooler slides in and connects Dr Teeth (Superkick). Stryker crumbles to the mat, and Pooler pins him, hooking both legs...]
Keith Williams: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner... and the number one contender for the UWL International Championship, BOB POOLER!!!
[Pooler's music plays as the ref raises his hand.]
Raines: WOW! He came out of nowhere with Dr. Teeth, by far the greatest name for a move ever, and damn near took Stryker's head off.
Archer: Stryker was so close to making Skylark submit. And just like that, he is down, counting the lights. Bob Pooler will be watching the Ryan Kidd/Gunner Hughes match very intently now. He has a date with the winner for the UWL International Heavyweight Championship.
[Pooler walks up the ramp, clutching his head, arm raised.]
El Gringo Loco and Jesse Ramey are joined by guest co-host Jon Collins (and maybe Josh Curtis?) for the best efedding coverage in podcast form today! News on: Phoenix Championship Wrestling Iron King Tournament, CSWA PrimeTime, and most importantly UWL Wrestlefest II Results!
["Fame" hits and Shadoe Rage sweeps out to a chorus of boos. He swirls, showing off his robes to the crowd, as he makes his way to the ring. He badmouths the fans, cussing and spitting at them, threatening to charge into the crowd as the people boo. Finally he vaults over the top rope into the ring before he leaps onto the top rope, flicking off his sunglasses and bandana. His raving eyes pick out one child in the front row and he points at the child, snarling. "This is going to be your fault."]
Keith Williams: Ladies and gentlemen, making his way to the ring... From Nova Scotia, Canada. Weighing in at 248 pounds.... SSHHHHADDOEEE RAAAAAGGGEEE!!!
[Through those curtains steps none other than Leon Corella wearing black and gold tights decorated with a metallic golden skull and red rose on the outer thighs, matching elbow and knee pads, similarly detailed wrestling boots, and heavy white tape from his fists to half the forearm. Strands of short blond hair hang in his face as he scans the crowd with ice blue eyes, his gaze intense and intimidating.]
[Leon strolls down the isle, little in the way of fan fair as he makes his way to the ring. Upon arrival, he hops onto the apron and walks the length of it, looking briefly to the crowd before throwing one leg through the ropes, dipping down and walking out onto the canvas.]
Keith Williams: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HAILING FROM NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA... HE STANDS SIX FEET, FIVE INCHES TALL AND WEIGHS IN AT APPROXIMATELY 256 lbs....
[Leon makes his way to the nearest turnpost, climbing up onto the second rung of ropes.]
Keith Williams: LLLLLEEEEEOOOOOONNNNNN CCCCCOOOOORRRREEEELLLLLAAAAAA!!!
[Leon lifts his arms up, palms upturned towards the sky as he tilts his head back. He then hops down from the turnpost and makes his way to his proper corner. The official checks on both men, Rage and Corella and we are ready to go here. The bell sounds and it's on. Shadoe Rage vs Leon Corella here in Orlando, Florida and the fans are firmly behind the latter man. Not sure if that's because he's actually the favourite of the fans or because they hate Shadoe Rage with so much venom! The two lock up and we have our first physicality of this one. Both men very similar in height and very similar in weight coming into this match and Shadoe starts to take the advantage, forcing Leon towards the corner... before Corella comes back and starts to take over. No real winner off this first tie up... that is before Corella breaks it and delivers a swift, decisive knee to the midsection of Shadoe! That took Rage a little bit by surprise there and now Corella with a quick scoop slam, taking Shadoe Rage down to the mat and then coming off the ropes and hitting a running elbow drop! He goes for the cover - might be a little early for that but never the less!]
Archer: I think Leon Corella is thinking ending this match swiftly might be a good idea.
Raines: He's got no hope of that! Shadoe Rage is far too strong an opponent to be pinned after a simple elbow drop!
[Back to the action now and Corella brings Rage to his feet and shoves him into the corner, delivering a couple of snap kicks to the midsection. He then backs away... and charges in, RUNNING BODY SPLASH.... MISSES!! Rage out of the way just in the nick of time after the avalanche attempt in the corner by Leon! Rage is straight away on his marks to deliver a textbook German Suplex! Classic Rage right there and Leon is going to be rueing the body splash option right now! Rage is now the one on the move and delivers a quick running stomp - it's not just any stomp though, right to the groin of Leon Corella who lets out a howl of pain! Not surprisingly really. The official starts to have words with Shadoe who simply ignores him and brings Leon back to his feet... BUT CORELLA TOSSES HIM UP AND OVER THE TOP TO THE OUTSIDE!]
Archer: Corella with the presence of mind there to send Rage to the outside.
Raines: A moment is not enough to win a match Archer!
[Rage on the outside now, glances back where Leon is coming towards the ropes... and Shadoe pretending to be hurt here now on the outside. Very much playing possum! Corella comes towards the ropes and Rage, quick as a flash, GUILLOTINE! Corella's head snaps back off the top rope and he hits the mat in the ring. Rage slides in and covers him.]
Archer: Rage now with the pin attempt, one a piece in the early goings.
Raines: Someone has to take a hold on this match.
[Rage now, leaving Corella on the mat as he looks to the top and he's clearly planning on going high risk straight away. Could he be thinking about that Angel of Death Drop? He heads over to the ropes and springs to the top as Corella gets back to his feet...AND HE CATCHES RAGE OUT OF THE AIR!! The fans leap to their feet - that took a staggering amount of strength from the veteran as he adjusts Rage onto his shoulder and delivers THE LION SLAM! (High Impact Powerslam!) The ring shakes with the sheer force of that move from Corella, one of his signatures too and the fans are going well! Perhaps a cover now could end this thing? Corella though has other ideas and is wanting to make sure Shadoe Rage is out for the count before going for the pin. Perhaps a good idea there. Of course these men are no strangers to one another both gracing the great TSWF. Corella, clad in his black and gold tights, back up to his feet and he's motioning for Shadoe to get back to his feet!]
Archer: I'm not sure this is going to be pretty, whatever Leon Corella is planning!
Raines: I'd doubt it... SHADOE, GET OUT OF THERE!!
[Shadoe does indeed get back to his feet... quite groggily too, that Powerslam certainly taking something out of him as Corella charges in... AND ALMOST TAKES HIS HEAD OFF HIS SHOULDERS WITH A MASSIVE BIG BOOT! The fans cheer as Corella with the cover now!]
Archer: THAT WAS CLOSE!
Raines: Calm the hell down Archer, this is just a momentary blip for Shadoe... I think!
[Not sure it was as Shadoe is down and out here! Surprising that he was able to kick out of that boot and he almost didn't it was just before the three! He must be in la-la land about now as Corella brings him back to his feet. Corella leaves Rage standing and he stumbles around the ring, trying to stay upright, raising his fists into a defensive position as Corella shakes his head in some kind of pity at him. Rage attempts a clothesline on Corella but Leon is easily able to get out of the way having telegraphed that right from the very start! He's toying with Rage a little here and could that turn out to be a vital, vital mistake!?]
Archer: Corella needs to end this match without trying to give Shadoe Rage a chance to get back into it. Toying with him here when there's no need at all!
Raines: It's a vital mistake! Corella will regret this Archer!
[Corella now, as if hearing the words of our commentators out here this evening decides that enough is enough and scoops Rage up... but Shadoe is quickly out of the hold and down behind Leon Corella! Maybe that was enough time for Shadoe to recover and he grabs Corella in a waistlock... but Leon, wily veteran that he is, runs to the ropes and grabs a hold of the top one as Rage attempts the rollup and is left rolling backwards across the ring as Corella turns around... AND DELIVERS A HUGELY POWERFUL LOOKING CLOTHESLINE!!! Shadoe again takes a massive impact on his upper chest and neck area as Corella covers!]
Archer: Oooh, so close for Leon Corella and how in the world is Shadoe Rage kicking out! He looks dead on his feet!
Raines: Rage is tenacious Archer, should know that... he won't go down without a fight!
[Corella now... stalking Shadoe Rage as the latter tries valiantly to get back to his feet. The crowd however are firmly behind Leon. Rage gets back up, with the aid of the ropes and is to his vertical base... but not for too long! Corella grabs a waistlock and TAKES RAGE OVER IN A HUGE, CRUNCHING GERMAN SUPLEX!!! The fans roar... and they may roar a little louder in a minute because Corella has kept the waistlock firmly in and Shadoe is swaying. He gets lifted UP AND OVER FOR THE SECOND! Can Leon Corella complete the trifecta? Triple German Suplex.... SCORE! NAILED! Goodnight Shadoe Rage! We hear Raines going crazy on the commentary, shouting 'No' repeatedly at the situation in which Shadoe Rage finds himself but he's not really been able to mount much in the way of offense here and it's been all Leon Corella! Rage though, does one very smart thing and that is to roll out of the ring to the outside! The fans jeer but that is a smart tactic.]
Archer: Rage rolling quickly to the outside, now he has to make sure he doesn't get counted out.
Raines: He won't get counted out. Give him some credit Archer, this is Shadoe Rage we're talking about here, not some hick from the indy leagues! He's catching his breath... oh my...
[Raines clearly speaks too soon because as soon as Shadoe Rage puts his head up over the trenches - in this case above the level of the ring apron - Leon Corella almost baseball slides him into oblivion! Rage's eyes go into the back of his head as he hits the mats on the outside hard! Leon raises a fist in the air, enjoying his domination as he scoops Shadoe up off the mat where he resembles roadkill at the moment! Corella... WITH A HUGE WHIP INTO THE RING POST! The official is imploring Leon to bring this back into the ring and right now the outside is proving to be the last place that Shadoe Rage needed to be with Corella able to use the post to his advantage. Rage is holding his shoulder on the mat as Corella brings him back up, grabbing the knee.... AND DUMPS HIM DOWN OVER THE RING STEPS! And now stomping away viciously at the knee! The official has seen enough and is beginning to count both men out. Corella is quick to throw the battered Shadoe Rage back into the ring to break that however. He goes for the cover...]
[And again a kickout!]
Archer: Again a kickout and perhaps it would be wise for Rage to give it up on this one!
[Corella has a beaming smile across his face. He knows that this is just a matter of time. The punishment he's inflicting can only be taken for so long by an opponent - any opponent and Rage is certainly taking a beating. He is clutching at his knee and that drop across the ring steps appears to have really taken it's toll. Corella looks at him, nodding and that's a tell tale sign for Leon. He's seen things like that before in his career and he drops an elbow right to that seemingly injured knee area... followed by a second... and a third... and now with a big legdrop right across the knee! Leon scoops up Rage ... AND HANGS HIM IN THE CORNER!]
Archer: Tree of woe now for Corella on Rage and I don't envy his position.
Raines: Me neither, this is terrible Archer!
[Corella UNLOADING with a series of kicks to the stomach and then some very heavy blows, pounding fists to the knee area, taking a lot of punishment for Rage! Corella climbs to the top as Rage is in the upturn tree of woe, seemingly susceptible to any punishment that Leon wants to dole out to him! Leon is mocking Rage from his position on the top rope...but Rage frees himself! He goes head over heels, up to his feet and before you can say bobs your uncle has sprung up to the top... HURRICANRANA FROM THE TOP BY SHADOE RAGE!!! Corella hits the mat hard as we see the surprise on his face...]
Archer: Corella stunned!
Raines: I knew it would happen! He should have put Shadoe away when he had the chance!
[Rage is coming back here! This is a surprise! It looked like he was dead on his feet, out for the count, dead and buried and whatever other phrases you might like to come up with but that seems not to be the case and Corella is reeling! Rage jabs Leon once, twice, a third time and knocks Corella down to the canvas with a huge right that even stings his own fist! Really going for it on that punch, that was a hell of a blow. Corella bounces almost back up to a vertical with the velocity on that and Rage scoops him up, holding him around the middle... AND A HUGE BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX BY SHADOE RAGE!!! Rage, a second wind here perhaps!? He looks around the crowd and gets a nice heavy round of boos for his trouble as he shrugs it off. He's certainly not going to let himself be affected by a fan reaction. He climbs to the outside, looking at Corella in the ring and no doubt thinking what he needs to do to put him away. This would be a turn up for the books after the contest that we've seen here tonight with Corella having the upper hand for much of the contest. Shadoe Rage now, climbing slowly and deliberately up to the top buckle... and this is where he's dangerous, where he could win the match. Corella is down in the center of the ring and showing some signs of stiring... what will Rage do here?]
Archer: Rage might only get one chance and look at this, he's going to make it high risk!
Raines: He could win the match from up here, just needs to nail it!
[Rage on the top rope here as Leon struggles to get up to his feet. If Shadoe Rage connects with this high risk offence that could well be all that she wrote! Rage comes off the top... BUT CORELLA STEPS BACKWARDS! He shoves Rage to the mat... and there it is! The Walls of Perfection! He's got it locked and it's smack bang in the center of the ring. Shadoe is really going to struggle to get to the ropes here and he looks in a complete world of hurt! The fans are loving it, they're not partial to Rage and Leon is very much in the ascendancy as Shadoe raises a hand. Is he going to tap!? The look on his face is contorted with the pain... he doesn't want to tap and he's fighting this as much as is humanly possible... BUT THERE IT IS! He had no choice in the end! Shadoe Rage taps out and Leon Corella has won the match via submission!]
Archer: Corella wins it! Corella wins it!
Archer: Look at the relief on the face of Leon Corella. He NEEDED that win!
[Corella sits on the back of his feet, breathing deep as we fade to the back.]
[We see the new number one contender for the UWL International Heavyweight Championship, Bob Pooler backstage. Wrist tape gone. Towel draped across his neck. He is watching a monitor in the back, studying his upcoming opponent.]
Archer: Boy you know he's going to be watching this one closely.
Raines: He better.
Archer: I cannot wait for this one.
Williams: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the UWL International Championship! Introducing first, from Long Beach, Florida weighing in at two hundrer and fifteen pounds… He is the International Champion... The SoCal Superstar… RYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN… KIDD!!
[The lights in the arena die down as the crowd in the arena screams in anticipation. “Light Up The Sky“ by All That Remains suddenly explodes through the PA system in sync to the pulsation of red lights. We then suddenly see the entrance way being engulf with smoke. Amidst the smoke, we see a figure as the song blasts throughout the airwaves. After several seconds while the smoke starts to clear, the figure materializes and is revealed to be Ryan Kidd, with the International title resting on his shoulder. He roars and pumps the crowd as they cheer him on.]
Archer: Ryan Kidd has been untouchable in the UWL. He has been in a small slump as of late. First PWX, and in FGA. Will it continue tonight?
As the red lights pulsation continues, he then strolls down to the ramp. He stops at the bottom of the ramp and looks around the whole arena and raises the International title over his head. He then continues walking making his way around the ring slapping some hands of the fans. He then stops in front of a steel steps and runs up to it stopping on the ring apron. He then climbs the nearest turnbuckle and raises his title again and roars to pump up the crowd. He then runs to a corner and climbs the turnbuckle. He roars and raises his title in the air to the delight of the fans. He then somersaults down from the turnbuckle and walks to the opposite side of the ring. He then leans on the ropes puts his foot on the bottom rope as he raises his arm ala Edge as the fans cheer him on. He then walks into his corner and does some warm up as he awaits his opponent.]
Williams: And now, introducing the challenger! From Portland, Oregon.... weighing in at two hundred and seventy five pounds... he is the NAW Champion... GUUUUUUUUNNEEEEEEEEERRRRR..... HUUUUUUUGHES!!
[A shotgun blast is heard through the PA system and “Dead Man Walking” by Bloodsimple begins to play. After a few moments, Gunner Hughes slowly comes walking out from the back, with the NAW title around his waist, raising an arm in the air at the top of the ramp as he stares into the crowd. He stomps down the ramp and towards the ring, then he climbs through the ropes and walks to the center of the ring, raising his arm in the air once more before his music comes to a stop.]
Raines: This man is a freak! He beat my boy Hale Collins for the NAW Championship, and hasn't looked back since.
Archer: He has definitely earned this opportunity.
[Referee takes both titles from Hughes and Kidd and shows Kidd's International title to both competitors and the crowd before giving the belt to the bellkeeper. Hughes and Kidd shake hands and as the bell rings, they begin to circle in the ring before locking up in a collar-and-elbow tie-up. Challenger, being the bigger and stronger man, gets an advantage and grounds the champion, now holding him in a side headlock. Gunner gets behind him and shoots some elbows to his back before running off the ropes to deliver a Low Angle Yakuza Kick. Kidd dodges and Schoolboys Gunner to get a two-count surprisingly soon.]
Archer: Very quick near fall. Almost caught Gunner.
[This time it's Hughes who's on his knees, trying to get up, but his chest is painted red with stiff kicks from The SoCal Superstar. Kidd ends the kicking sequence with a Dropkick to the face to send Hughes on his back before performing a beautiful Lionsault. Pinfall attempt is unsuccessful again as Gunner kicks out just when referee's hand hits the canvas for the second time. Kidd takes some time and lets his opponent to stand up, dodges a Discus Clothesline and drops Gunner with a Back Suplex. That doesn't keep the NAW Champion down as he stands up again. Ryan now wastes no time and attempts a Sudden Impact Superkick, but Gunner catches his leg. Kidd goes for a Roundhouse Kick with his other leg, but Gunner dodges and locks his opponent, now laying on his belly, in an Ankle Lock. It takes a while, but Kidd manages to roll on his back and uses his free leg to break the hold. He gets to a standing position with a nice kip-up, but is taken down again by Gunner's stiff Clothesline. Hughes goes for a pin...]
Raines: That clothesline was nasty!
Archer: Hughes is explosive. Everything about him has force and intensity.
[Resiliency is shown by the defending champion, but he still has to defend against a flurry of offense as the challenger picks him up a irish whips to the corner. Gunner steps on the second rope and delivers several closed fist punches to the head of his opponent. Ryan dodges one of them, slips under Gunners legs to get behind him and leaps to the air to perform a Backstabber to the opponent standing at an elevated position. Kidd is first on his feet and delivers a brutal Shining Wizard to the head of his oponent who is still on one knee. Kidd goes for a pinfall.]
Archer: Back and forth! Back and forth!
Raines: Are they going back and forth?
Archer: Back and forth!
[Hughes kicks out of a knockout move and the crowd can't believe it, just like Kidd can't. Ryan lets his opponent to get on his feet and runs off the ropes to perform a leaping forearm attack, but is caught by Gunner and locked inside a Bearhuh submission! Kidd screams and tries to fight out using forearm and elbow shots and punches. Hughes eventually lets his opponent go, just to kick him in the mid-section and drop him on his head with a Flowing DDT. He finishes the sequence with a Jumping Leg Drop on the laid out opponent and goes for a pinfall.]
[Not even this seems to be enough to keep Kidd down for a three count. Gunner picks him up and irish whips him to the ropes. The SoCal Superstart goes over the top rope, but manages to land on his feet on the apron. Hughes rushes at him but Kidd pulls the top rope and Gunner goes crashing to the floor. Kidd waits for his opponent to get up and then goes for a Seated Senton... but Hughes cathces him and Powerbombs him on the edge of the ring! Kidd's back is in a world of pain as he is rolled back to the ring. Gunner follows him and motions that he is ready to end the match with the Buckshot finisher as Kidd is slowly getting up to his feet. Hughes goes to hit his finisher, but Kidd dodges, gets behind Hughes and tries to steal a win with a Schoolboy.]
[Both men get on their feet and surprised Gunner is caught off guard again, this time with The Breakdown (STO Backbreaker into Reverse STO). Another pin attempt by Ryan.]
Raines: That was three!!
Archer: No sir. The ref says he JUST got the shoulder up.
[Another resilient kickout by the challenger. Kidd goes to the apron and gets ready for a Springboard move. He attempts one, but is taken down with a brutal Spear out of nowhere! This time Gunner goes for the win.]
Archer: This has been a very fast paced match from the opening bell. It can't go much longer.
Raines: We can only hope so.
[The crowd goes wild and chants the names of both Kidd and Hughes. Both competitors get on their feet at almost the same time. They trade right hands. Neither man gaining an advantage. Suddenly, Ryan Kidd steps back. He goes for a Superkick, but Gunner catches it. He spins Kidd in a 180. Behind Kidd now, Gunner muscles him up, looking for a backdrop. Kidd flips over, and lands on his feet behind Gunner Hughes. Kidd turns and runs towards the corner as Gunner tries to find him. The UWL International Champion runs up the turnbuckle and flies off crashing down for the Ricochet (Jeff Hardy’s Whisper In The Wind)!]
Raines: But Gunner moved!
[Mac is right. Gunner side stepped the out of control Kidd. Kidd crashes awkwardly onto the hard mat below. Gunner steps back, begging for Ryan Kidd to get to his feet. Kidd is obviously hurt, but wills himself up to a vertical base. He shouldn't have though. Gunner explodes and connects with the Buckshot (leaping boot to face)! Ryan Kidd is turned inside out. Gunner quickly pins.]
Raines: Good God!!!
Archer: It's over!
["Dead Man Walking" plays again as the ref awards Gunner Hughes the UWL International Championship.]
Williams: Here is your winner... AND NEW!!! UWL INTERNATIONAL HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION.... GUNNERRRR HUUUUGGGHHESSS!!!
[Hughes clutches his newly won title as he rolls out of the ring. Ryan Kidd is knocked out cold in the center of the ring as Gunner raises the title high.]
[Backstage, Black Circle Boys are furious they lost the UWL Tag Team Titles. They are storming the halls, knocking over tables, chairs, and other random things that shouldn't have gotten in their way. Two poor random Joe's are in the wrong place at the wrong time. Shawn Ryder gets in one of their face.]
Guy: N... Noth... Nothing...
Fenriz: SHUT UP!
[Each member of BCB grab one of the two men and punch them. Lark pins one man against the concrete wall, while Ryder slings one across a table as if it was a bar brawl.]
Archer: Oh no! Someone stop them!
Raines: Two crazy son of a bitches are mad, and that equals trouble. Better those guys than us Frankie.
[Fenriz is about to powerbomb his victim, when out of nowhere, Lance Carter and Hank Sharpe, NAW's Vice Squad come darting into the scene, jumping the Black Circle Boys.]
Archer: It's the Vice Squad!
Raines: I thought there was a no contact clause between these two teams!!
Archer: Hey this is UWL, not NAW.
[Vice Squad and BCB begin brawling. There's been bar brawls with more finesse than this brawl here. UWL Officials, Agents, and other suits rush in to try and break the four men up... Its not working.]
Raines: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!!!
Archer: These two teams are set to have a war at NAW St Valentines Day Massacre!
Raines: Looks like the war started early.
[Lance Carter has somehow found a glass jar, and shatters it over Shawn Ryder. Meanwhile, Fenriz and Sharpe go through a catering table. After what seems like an eternity, officials seem to have broken the two teams up. Freniz, being the tough bastard he is, is up after going through the table.]
Freniz: See ya at St Valentines Day Massacre!!
[The camera zooms in closely as blood is trickling down Freniz's face.]
[The stage begins to fill with smoke as the arena lights dim as an air raid siren cries out throughout the arena and the heavy guitars of “Indestructible” by Disturbed kick in to a rapturous roar from the crowd in attendance. As the song reaches its verse, the man himself steps on to the stage, greeted by wave of adulation and loud applause. Wearing his ring gear along with a black zipped hoodie with the hood pulled up and the World Championship title proudly over his right shoulder, the champion simply raises his arms to his sides to incite more from the fans that worship The Vigilante. He raises the title high above his head with his right arm as he begins to walk down the ramp towards the ring where his opponent awaits him.]
Keith Williams: From Manchester, England, weighing in tonight at two-hundred-and-twenty of the Queen’s English pounds...CHRIS HORTON!!!!!!”
[The crowd roar as his name is announced as Horton slides in to the ring and climbs the closest turnbuckle, raising the championship above his head still and pulling down his hood and he riles himself up by soaking in the reaction of the crowd. Climbing down from the turnbuckle, he once more raises the title in the middle of the ring. The lights return to normal as Horton carefully passes his prized possession out of the ring, before throwing his hoodie out uncaringly. He crouches down in the corner with focus and intensity in his eyes as he awaits the beginning of the match and the crowd chant his name vociferously.]
Archer: And we are nearly underway for this "champion v champion" match up!
Raines: Well it WAS going to be a champion v champion match but last we saw AWF, stripped Horton of his championship! So Horton has more than his fair share in this match up.
Archer: No doubt Horton looks focused for a win here tonight. Well see what happens!
[A loud foghorn sounds three times, the smoke machine fogs the black curtain as "Busy Being Born" by the band Middle Class Rut plays over the the venue's P.A. sound system. Emerging from the back curtain is A.J. Fairchild who, hops up and down on the tip of his toes getting pumped for his match. A.J. then jogs down the ramp and high fives a few people on his way to the ring.]
Keith Williams: From Dallas, Texas. Weighing in at 190 pounds... The FGA Heavyweight Champion... A....J.... FAAAIIRRCHILD!!!!
[A.J. slides in the ring, and runs towards the nearest turnbuckle. A.J. scales the top of the turnbuckle and throws up a hook'em horns hand sign before jumping down from the turnbuckle.]
Archer: AJ always been an impressive champion. Let's see if he can continue that streak tonight.
Raines: AJ looks to fend off a hungry Horton tonight. Let's get to it!
[The bell rings and both men lock up in the middle of the ring. A few manuevers are traded between AJ and Chris as AJ tries to gain the upperhand. Chris grabs his arm and pulls it back and locks it in an armbar. Chris tangles with AJ's arm as the circle the ring a couple times before Chris brings AJ down to the mat with an armlock around the neck take down. Chris throws a few blows to the face of AJ with some right kicks. AJ gets back up and an exchange of rights and lefts are temporarily exchanged between the high status superstars. Chris finally ends it with a strong European Uppercut throwing AJ against the ropes. Chris follows through with a spinebuster into the mat. Chris goes for a cover.]
[Nothing as AJ powers out. Chris shakes his head in denial.]
Archer: I'm afraid Chris is going to have to do more than that to beat AJ.
Raines: I don't really blame Chris for trying though. Especially after what happened to him regarding the AWF title as of late.
[AJ back to his feet now as he delivers a few blows to the midsection of Chris. AJ ricochets off the ropes and comes at Chris taking him down with a clothesline. Chris gets back to his feet rather quickly and AJ takes him down with another. Chris back on his feet once more and AJ goes to take him down for a third time but Chris strikes a right jab that cause AJ to stumble a bit. Chris uses this time to ricochet off the ropes and strikes Chris with a shining wizard taking him down to the mat. Chris attempts a pinfall but just stops and shakes his head. He smiles and indicates he's not ending the match this way.]
Archer: Uh oh, what's Chris doing here?
Raines: I think Chris wants to do this a different way?
[Chris heads to the top rope and eyes AJ. Chris then flies off the top and delivers a hard elbow drop into the chest of AJ. AJ rolls a bit before he pulls himself up using the ropes. He turns around, however, but doesn't get a chance to breath as Chris grabs him and delivers yet another spinebuster. Chris then grabs AJ at the base of his feet and turns him over and locks in the Subjection. AJ tries to reach the ropes but Chris set him up perfectly dead square in the center of the ring. No where to go, AJ can't take the pain anymore and taps out. Chris releases the hold as the bell rings.]
Archer Horton picks up no doubt a very huge win here tonight! A good booster for the apparent former AWF Champion! What a victory by Chris Horton tonight folks!
Raines: Geez. He made short work of AJ Fairchild. AJ is the reigning FGA Heavyweight Champion!
Archer: Chris Horton was a man on a mission tonight. He was proving a point.
["Santa Claus is Coming to Town" by Bing Crosby (techno dance remix) hits the arena as a chill comes over the arena. A light snow begins to fall from the rafters as a sleigh enters the arena carrying the impressively huge mass of Santa Claus and his beautiful, young, hot wife Mrs. Claus, who smiles warmly at Santa as he drops the reigns and stands up in the sleigh.]
Raines: Fuck yes! Look Frank! …the man of the hour… the man of the season himself is here!
Archer: That he is and Mrs. Claus is with him.
Raines: And hello. I'd like to unwrap her. She can jingle my bells.
Archer: Alright. Easy Mac.
Raines: I mean she can ride my sleigh ANY night.
Archer: That's enough Mac.
Raines: I'd give her my sack to empty out, every day.
Archer: ... Okay, now that went too far.
[Santa and Mrs. Claus enter the ring and the ringside attendant hands him a mic, while Mrs. Claus with the red back is tossing out UWL merchandise. T-shirts, toys and games are being flung into the roaring crowd.]
Santa: Ho….Ho….Ho…..it’s Santa’s favorite time of the year and other than the North Pole there’s no better place for Santa to be than here in UWL. Santa gives gifts to millions each year, and when Christmas is over…after all of the presents to the boys and girls have been handed out. After Mrs. Claus jingles Santa’s bells each of the twelve nights of Christmas, Santa is going to make his own Christmas wish. No…make that a Christmas promise…Santa’s own gift to himself… In 2013 Santa is going to give himself some UWL gold.
[The fans roar with cheers…]
Santa: Santa doesn't mean December 2013…or Summer 2013, but early 2013. So to Elijah Black, Tiami Tyler, Gunner Hughes, and the tag champs whoever holds the gold. I'm even including the Junior Heavyweight Champion, because let's be honest, she's almost as fat as Santa, and that means I should qualify for a title shot in that division too! But to all of the UWL Champions, all I can say is….You better watch out, You better not cry, You better not pout, I'm telling you why…… Santa Claus is comin' for your gold! HO HO HO!
[With that, "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" plays once again. Santa and Mrs Claus exit the ring. Snow begins to fall once more as Santa exits on his sleigh.]
Archer: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm not sure what we just witnessed. Santa is apparently here, and promises to bring himself some UWL gold in 2013. But up next is the MAIN EVENT!!
Raines: She looks like a wonderful mother. And by 'looks like a' I mean 'can suck my' and by 'wonderful mother' I mean 'candy cane.'
UWL: SPRING STAMPEDE
Live from Dallas, Texas
March 23rd, 2013
[The regal sound of "Chariots of Fire" fills the arena. Pat Gordon, Jr. makes his way from the back. Pat is doning his usual green robe with a giant Shamrock on it. He begins shaking hands and giving out high-fives as he makes his way to the ring. Upon entering the ring, Pat Gordon removes his robe and uses the ropes as an aide to do some last minute stretches awaiting his opponent.]
Raines: What do ya think partner? Think he can do it? Think he can knock off the champ?
Archer: They don't call him the 'Plucky Underdog we can all get behind' for nothing.
Raines: That's a long nick name.
Archer: Indeed it is.
[Purple lights pulse around the arena as “Smash The Control Machine” thunders through the speakers…]
#With the perfect hair
#And the perfect wife
#And the perfect kids
#And the perfect life
#I will finally be somebody...
[…before Elijah Black steps out on top of the ramp, surveying the arena around him with the hood of his black hoodie raised, standing with his fists clenched as he stretches his arms as wide as he can, slowly turning on the spot]
(Let's play born-again American, resistance is the game!))
[Black throws his head back, throwing the hood back around his shoulders, and shakes some of the excess water out of his hair as he begins to walk down the ramp]
#Two pigs wearing suits
#Brought the news
#That I'm wanted by the bank
#They say the rent is due
#Caesar's onto you
#So you better remember your place
[Black walks down the ramp at a slow, deliberate pace, a malicious smirk crossing his lips as he continues down to ringside …]
#Then they outsourced my job
#And gave a raise to my boss
#Bailed out your banks
#But billed me for the loss
[…reaching the bottom of the ramp, Black pauses at ringside to flick his attention to the ring for a moment, before he paces around the ringside area]
#They say we must submit
#And be one with the Machines
#Because the Kingdom of Fear
#Needs compliance to succeed
[Pacing around the ring, Black continues his deliberate pace to invite any and all heckles from the crowd]
#So waterboard the kids for fun
#It's all the rage
#And play born-again American
#Resistance is the game
[Quick as a flash, Black breaks from his patrol of ringside and jumps onto the apron, waiting for a moment on one knee for the right moment in his theme…]
#SMASH THE CONTROL MACHINE
#Work, buy, consume, die
[Black quickly scales the turnbuckles from the ring apron, standing on the top rope with his fist held high in the air and looking remarkably pleased with himself]
#SMASH THE CONTROL MACHINE
#Happy little slaves - for minimum wage
[Black jumps off the top rope into the ring, in one movement throwing his hoodie to the mat, showcasing his UWL Heavyweight Championship as he does another rotation with his arms stretched wide and his fists clenched, this time within the ring]
((The revolution will be monetized And streamed live via renegade wi-fi))
[…before kicking his hoodie to ringside and crouching in his corner of the ring]
Raines: Well that was a long entrance...
[The crowd is in a buzz as Elijah's theme dies down. Both men are in their respective corners as the voice of UWL, Keith Williams stands in the middle of the ring.]
Keith Wlliams: Ladies and gentlemen... THIS is your Main Event of Wrestlefest II!
Keith Williams: Introducing first... The Challenger... From Boston, Massachussetts... weighing in at 242 pounds... representing FGA... PAAAAAT GOOORRDOOOONNNN JUUUUUNIOOORRRR!!!!
[Solid ovation for the Boston Bruiser as he steps slightyly out of his corner, to aknowledge his loyal fans.]
Keith Williams: And his opponent... Hailing from East Lansing, Michigan... Weighing in at 207 pounds... Representing PWX... The reigning UWL World Heavyweight Champion.... ELIIIJJJAAAHHH BLLLLLLAAAACKK!
[Mixed reaction for the UWL Champion as he raises the UWL Championship proudly over his head. After a few moments, referee John Monroe takes the title from Black, then stands in the middle of the ring, displaying the title in all it's goodness.]
Archer: And that's why we are here tonight. The UWL World Heavyweight Championship signifies who exactly is the best in the business. Elijah Black has been the best since he won the title back in October.
Raines: Yeah, but today he goes up against someone who doesn't know how to quit. In fact, at Wrestlefest I was the only time I am aware of that Gordon has ever submitted. Don't expect it again tonight.
Archer: And here we go!
[The crowd let's out a roar as the match is officially underway. Black and Gordon lock up and we are under way. Black gets a quick advantage and pulls Gordon down into a side headlock wrenching away and trying to unscrew his head from his body. Pat Gordon knows he can’t afford to be in this position for very long so he thinks fast, pushing Black off of him and sending him stumbling forward into the ropes. Elijah Black hits the ropes and latches on, preventing the usual rebound, but he’s only safe for a second. Gordon charges right in after the champ and slams into him with a clothesline, the momentum from the impact carries both men up and over the top rope sending them tumbling to the floor. Both men fall, but it's obvious Elijah Black took the brunt of the fall. Back in the ring senior referee, John Monroe starts the count.]
Archer: Wow Mac, this match is only just started and these men already find themselves on the outside.
Raines: It all happened so quick that I’m even caught off guard… These two are going all out.
[Gordon quickly sets about adjusting the nearby guardrail, pulling it closer to the ring as meanwhile Black is back on his feet and stalking his preoccupied opponent.]
[Black comes in from behind Gordon and slams a forearm into him sending the challenger up and over the guardrail and into the first row. Fans scatter as Gordon lands in their seats with a thud and Elijah Black follows into the audience after him.]
Archer: I don’t know how smart it is for Black to follow Gordon out there.
[Elijah Black pulls PGJr to his feet only to be greeted with a surprise knee to the gut for his efforts. Pat quickly hooks the stunned Black and drops him, causing Black to straddle the guardrail. The face of Elijah Black tells the obvious story.... He's hurting.]
Raines: Hey now that's a smart move.
Archer: What a move there by Gordon… he’s flirting with a DQ here!
Rains: Not to mention a count out.
[Gordon grabs a nearby fans soda and smashes it over the head of Black, who is still straddling the guardrail. Gordon then connects an Irish Kiss (his patented headbutt). THe thud is scary as the two men skulls crack together. Gordon even makes himself a little loopy on it. He shakes the cobwebs loose and goes for a second Irish Kiss, but Elijah Black stops him by simply sticking his fingers out, and Gordon does the rest. Gordon nearly stabs his own eyes out with Black's fingers. Temporarily blinded, Gordon stumbles backwards, tripping over a near by chair. This gives Elijah time to unstraddle the guardrail.]
Raines: About time he gets off there. I was starting to worry about his future kids.
[Black instead of climbing off the guardrail, actually climbs on top of it, with the aid of a security workers massive shoulder. Black stands tall on the guardrail, and as Gordon gets to his feet, Black leaps off, crashing onto Gordon. The two men fall to the floor, taking out a few rows of chairs with them.]
Archer: This is chaos. Not at all what we expected.
Raines: They've been in the ring for like 15 seconds Frankie. This actually fits Gordon pretty good. He's a Bostonian. I'm sure he's had his share of bar fights. Crazy ass Boston.
Archer: You're from Philly!
Raines: Right. Brotherly Love!
[After what seems like an eternity, Black stumbles up and forces Gordon to his feet and walks him over to the barricade. He smashes Gordon head first onto the barricade before throwing him up and over it, sending him back into the ringside area. Black hops over to follow, dragging his challenger over to the ring apron and lifting him up again, rolling him inside before sliding in after as the ref begins barking at him for breaking rules.]
Archer: And finally the match takes it's way back into the ring!
Raines: Damn, this ref just let's anything go, huh? Stopped the count-out, allowed a weapon in the form of carbonation...this might as well be a hardcore match!
[Black lifts Gordon to his feet, but as soon as Gordon is vertical, he springs to life and connects with a stiff boot to the midsection of Elijah Black. Gordon turns slowly, then hits the ropes, gaining momentum. But that momentum is gone as he is smashed dead on in the face with a spinning heel kick as soon as he turns back towards Elijah. Black scrambles to his feet as GOrdon rolls away, clutching at his face in pain.]
Archer: Very nice looking spinning heel kick there from the UWL Champion!
[Elijah looks over at a dazed PGJr picking himself up off the floor and then looks towards the ropes. In a fantastic display of athleticism, Elijah Black springs onto the second turnbuckle and connecting with a nasty springboard kick, ala Cody Rhodes.]
Raines: Perfect timing on that kick, catching Pat Gordon right in the face.
Archer: Here is the first pin attempt of the contest...
Archer: Devestating kick nearly picked up the early win for the champion.
Both men slowly pick themselves back up to their feet, Black a bit faster than Pat Gordon. Pat turns around when he gets up to meet Elijah head on, only to meet his fist instead. PGJr stumbles back in shock as Elijah advances forward in a flurry of fast punches, sending him staggering about a little. Finally, Black sidesteps and kicks Gordon in the back of the knee, sending him crumpling to a single knee. The champ takes a step back before charging forward, directly past the downed PGJr and into the ropes. He bounces off and upon rebound leaps into the air, landing on Gordon's back and in the process sending Pat's face SMASHING into his own knee! Elijah Black falls off to the side, unbalanced, as Gordon rolls away kicking his feet and clutching at his nose in extreme pain!]
Archer: CHRIST! What an...innovative move, to say the least, from the UWL Champion!
Raines: Hey Gordon! QUIT HITTING YOURSELF!
Archer: You've been dying to say that all of your announcing career, haven't you?
Raines: Hell yes.
[The UWL World Heavyweight Champion pulls himself back up as Pat lies on the mat, seemingly drained from the pain coursing through him after that. Elijah Black climbs through the ropes and begins his ascent to the top turnbucle, making sure to mind his footwork, Black climbs up to the second turnbuckle before making his way up to the top rope. Peering down at his victim, Black poses momentarily before leaping down, looking for…]
Archer: Elbow drop! Elijah Black pulling out some rarely used moves in his arsenal tonight!
Raines: This is a mistake!
[Black flies through the air and… hits it!]
Archer: He hit!
Raines: I’ll say.
[Black stays on Pat Gordon, Jr, looking for the cover after the miraculous connection of the move!]
Archer: CLOSE!! Somehow, however, the challenger kicks out!!
[Elijah Black looks at the ref in disbelief, before pulling Pat Gordon to his feet. In an instant, Black goes for a quick knee to the gut, only to find that Gordon has slipped free of his grip. PGJr spins behind Black and before he can react, pulls him into a reverse waistlock. He forces Black up into the air and connects dead on with a perfect german suplex, sending the UWL Champion bouncing off the mat and falling off to the side!]
Archer: German suplex! Pat Gordon from out of nowhere, pulling the tides back in his favor!!
[Both men stagger back up, still dazed from one another's moves. They both turn and glare across the ring at one another, before almost marching towards each other into the center of the ring. Elijah Black and Pat Gordon start to exchange rights and left, their weakened punches are a testament to the toll this match has had on them so far. Black nails Gordon with a weak left that stuns his opponent and then moves in for the kill with a roundhouse right. Gordon sees this coming from a mile away though and manages to duck under leaving Black’s momentum to carry him in a complete 360. As the champ spins back face to face with Pat, he’s greeted with kick to the gut that doubles him over. Gordon wastes no time in quickly hoisting Black up onto his shoulder for what looks to be Sunday Morning Hangover!]
Raines: Hangover time! This could be it!
[Almost before Mac F'n Raines can even finish his sentence the champ counters, sliding off of Pat’s shoulder and landing safely behind him. Black grabs Pat Gordon by what little hair he has, and turns, then yanks Gordon down, with a neckbreaker.]
Archer: Fantastic counter by Elijah Black.
Raines: That neckbreaker is vintage Black.
Archer: .... Can we say that?
Raines: Say what?
Archer: Other people's catchphrases.
Raines: I don't know what you're talking about. This is a Slobberknocker.
Raines: ..... Barbeque Sauce....
[Elijah Black lifts Pat Gordon to a vertical base, now but in the blink of an eye, Gordon counters swinging around beside Black and pulling him down into a Fujiwara armbar in one swift motion. The crowd comes to their feet as Gordon wrenches back on the submission trying to make the UWL Champion tap.]
Archer: Now a great counter by Gordon
Raines: He pulled that out of nowhere. Like some kinda magician.
[However, in an unfortunate turn of events for Pat Gordon, Black is JUST close enough to grab the ropes. Pat looks in disbelief at the poor placement of the submission as the ref begins to call for him to let go. Furious, Gordon torques the hold as hard as he can before letting go, prompting a few shouts from the official. The hungry challenger ignores the referee as he grabs ahold of Elijah Black, yanking him back towards the middle of the ring. He starts to go to grab ahold of Black's arm when suddenly, Elijah springs up with a swift elbow to the midsection!]
Archer: Elijah Black keeps fighting.
[Pat Gordon doubles over and Black takes a second to breath. Gordon tries to go right back on the offense, but misses wildly with a clothesline. Gordon staggers to the ropes, bouncing off. Elijah Black waits for his opponent to return, then connects a leg lariat. Gordon hits the mat and rolls to his feet as Elijah Black kips up, taking two steps forward into his opponent as he charges for him and catching him with a release fishermans suplex.]
Archer: The champion appears to have caught his second wind.
[Pat Gordon lies near the ropes in pain, clutching at his side as Elijah Black gets back up to his feet. Patslowly makes his way to his feet as well, pulling himself up by the ropes and then using them to support his weight. Black swoops in like a jungle cat finishing its wounded prey and charges PGJr. Gordon however, isn’t as wounded as one might imagine and he manages an instinctual defense as he drops his shoulder and hoists the running Black up and out of the ring. Elijah sails over the top rope and to the outside but he never hits the floor instead landing safely on the ring apron. Black grabs Gordon by the hair from the outside, but again the instincts kick in and Patfires back three quick elbows that connect with Black’s temple. Elijah is stunned, but manages to keep his footing… that is until Pat grabs his head in a frontface lock and drops him throat first across the top rope. The UWL Champ falls hard to the floor and Gordon tries to catch his breath, all the while contemplating his next move.]
Archer: Nice series of counters there by Pat Gordon, he’s really running on auto pilot at this point though so it’ll be tough for him to put together that winning drive.
Raines: ‘…winning drive’?! What the hell is this football?
[On the floor Elijah Black slowly starts to get up, our ref goes to start the count but Gordon stops him, knowing he cannot win the UWL World Heavyweight Championship that way. Finally with Black on his feet Pat runs and slides out of the ring with a baseball slide. Black has other plans though and moves out of the way. PGJr charges at Black, but Black ducks and trips Gordon with a drop toe hold, causing Pat to go face first into the steel steps. Our referee quickly slides out to see if Pat Gordon is ok as the nearby fans rise to their feet, trying to get a better look at Gordon.]
Archer: Oh My God!
Raines: That was sweet!
Archer: Pat Gordon, Jr. was nearly decapitated
[Gordon lies motionless on the outside as Black slowly pulls himself away, using the apron for support. Gordon stirs on the ground, signalling to the ref that he's fine weakly through the pain. Elijah staggers over to the downed Gordon, pulling him up to his feet and rolling him into the ring. Gordon remains motionless, obviously in a world of pain at this moment as the UWL Champ drags him towards the center of the ring. Finally, he goes for the cover as the ref gets in place and makes the count...]
Raines: HERE WE GO!
Raines: Are you kidding me?
Archer: The challenger won't go away.
[Somehow, Pat Gordon manages to kick out as the fans roar! Elijah Black stares in disbelief, looking down at Pat in shock as he begins to crawl painfully towards the ropes. Black makes his way back up and is doubled over, watching Pat Gordon closely. Pat slowly begins to make it back up to his feet as finally Black steps towards him, signalling for a "Dead Like You"!! However, just as Pat turns and Black goes to position to lift him up, Pat drops to the mat from exhaustion and in a last ditch effort of offense manages to clip Black's leg out from under him, sending him falling chest first into the ropes! Gordon reaches out, grabbing ahold of both of Black's ankles and staggering back up to his feet weakly, keeping Elijah elevated in the air.]
Raines: Okay, I do NOT like where this is going... Or do I??
Archer: He's not thinking of a low blow, is he?!
[Gordon steps one foot back a little, before stepping forward between Black's elevated legs and swinging his foot up violently, spiking the end of his boot RIGHT into the stomach of the UWL Champion! Elijah's body curls from the impact as he stumbles towards the center of the ring. Pat Gordon follows up with a textbook DDT. Pat Gordon doesn't follow up with a pin, but instead, stalks his opponent, looking to finish him off.]
Archer: Pat Gordon just missed a golden opportunity. It may come back to cost him.
Raines: Something tells me, he's looking to end it right here.
[PGJr walks over to Elijah and begins picking him up.]
Archer: Sunday Morning Hangover coming up!
Raines: Elijah Black is fighting! Look at him drive the elbows to the temple of Gordon.
[Black manages to stun Gordon enough with the elbow shots to seperate himself from Pat. Both men recover and continue attacking. Unfortunately both champion and challenger had the same thing in mind. They both connect a clothesline, and fall to the mat. Both men remain down for several moments, the crowd breaking out into a chant of "This Is Awesome". Both men slowly begin to pull themselves up to their feet, the crowd getting behind them quickly.]
Archer: WHAT a match, ladies and gentlemen!! This is incredible! The support from the fans is near deafening!
Raines: And it is all for the UWL World Heavyweight Championship!
[They finally reach their feet, glaring across the ring from each other. Gordon, being the quicker of the two this time, manages to reach his feet and charge for Elijah Black, who is resting in the corner. Gordon flies through the air, but Elijah has side stepped him, and Gordon crashes face first onto the top turnbuckle. Gordon staggers back, and right into the waiting arms of Elijah Black, who locks Pat Gordon in the Pat Lock!!]
Archer: My God! He has Pat Gordon in the Pat Lock!
Raines: Can you imagine the embarassment of tapping to your own submission?
[Black cannot completely lock it in, and cannot drop Pat. Pat, still semi-locked into the chicken-wing walks to the corner, and uses it as a partner, stepping up, and pushing back. Both men fall to the mat, and Gordon lands on Black, and has him pinned!]
[Elijah somehow sneaks out in time. Both men get to their feet, but Black connects a discus clothesline, dropping Pat Gordon.]
Archer: How close was that?!?
Raines: Pat Gordon is the master of the chicken wing. Of course he would know the perfect counter. And he about pulled off an amazing counter to capture the UWL Championship.
[Realizing how close he was to losing, Elijah Black takes a deep breath, as Gordon is up to his knees. Black charges at Gordon, possibly looking for a Shining Wizard, but Gordon springs, and rolls up Elijah Black.]
Archer: Another nearfall by Pat Gordon, Jr.
[Both men are up, and Elijah connects a perfectly timed boot to the gut. He sets Gordon up for a suplex, but Gordon floats over, landing behind the champ.]
Raines: Pat Lock! He's going for the Pat Lock!
[Black is desperate to not allow the Pat Lock, and runs full speed ahead at the corner, and ducks at the last second, causing Pat Gordon to run sternum first into the turnbuckle. Gordon stumbles out of the corner, and Black connects another boot. He sets Gordon up for a pumphandle slam, or his pumphandle gut buster. We'll never know, because once Black flips PGJr up, and onto his shoulder, Gordon slides off, and stands behind Black.]
Archer: Great back and forth wrestling here.
[In one swift motion, he sets Black up, powers him off the ground and connects with the Sunday Morning Hangover (Omega Driver)!!]
Raines: He hit it! Sunday Morning Hangover!
Archer: There's the pin!
[The Amway Center explodes as the bell sounds and "Chariots of Fire" plays. Referee John Monroe rewards the UWL Championship to its new holder.]
Keith Williams: Ladies and gentlemen... your winner...... AND NEW UWL WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION..... PAT GORDON JUNIOR!!!!!!!!!!!
Archer: He did it! The Scrapper from Boston, the truest sense of the word underdog has done it and has become the UWL Heavyweight Champion!
Raines: Unbelievable Frankie!
[PGJr holds the UWL Title high as the crowd is standing. Gordon slumps to his knees looking at his newly won championship.]
Archer: What a match!
Raines: I don't ever say this, but both men deserved that one. I hated to see it end.
Archer: That's it for Wrestlefest everyone. We have a new UWL World Heavyweight Champion. And his name is Pat Gordon Junior.
Raines: Goodnight everybody.